Captions by EXSkywarp

No, you will feel the sting of the MONARCH!

I told you...WRONG. SHOW!!

...IN. IS THAT CLEAR?!

Prime: (In Drill Instructor's voice, complete with an overannunciated southern drawl) What...is that? WHAT IN THE BLUEST OF BLUE KAONS IS THIS NONSENSE? EITHER YOU STRAIGHTEN UP, COSMOS, OR I WILL RECYCLE YOUR TAILPIPE SO FAST, THAT AL GORE'S HEAD WILL SP

Sentinel: Man, you won't BELIEVE what that tailpipe-hole, Bluestreak did!

Jazz: Argh...Melissa, baby? Yeah, yeah, hang on...

(To Sentinel) Do. You. MIND?! I'M TRYING TO SKYPE HERE!

Brawn: DADDY, LOOK! I WANNA RIDE THE PROTO-PONIES!

Soundwave: -sigh- Oh, for the love of Primus...

Ratchet: I made out with Moonracer? Damn, just how wasted was I?

Wheeljack: Don't talk to me...

Tell me I look like the character on the Quazy Quisp cereal box...

ONE.
MORE.
F#CKING.
TIME!

Man, I don't get what those humans see in Paranormal ActiviOH MY GOD WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!

Man, this is the LAST time I let Carly make special brownies.

DJ Megatron on the 1's and 2's, y'all. Kickin' the phat beats, droppin' that bass like "WHOA!"

Alright, Metro...stick and move!! STICK AND MOVE!! This Fortress Maximus guy's a PUNK, man! A BUM! Eye of the tiger...EYE OF THE TIGER!! NOW GET IN THERE AND WHUP HIS ASS!!!

LASERBEAK: EJECT!
OPERATION: STAIRWAY!
ERROR: NO STAIRWAY...DENIED!
LASERBEAK: RETURN!

(Sari plays the guitar and sings)
Grimloooooock...
Why did you eat my ride?
I bought it...
And it was mine...
But you ate it...
Yeah, you ate my ride...
And I cried...
Those tears were mine...

I'm only gonna tell y'all this ONCE...

*Loads up guns*

GET OUT!

Sari: Uh, Prime...dude...you KNOW Black Arachnia has a spread in Playbot Magazine, right?

Prime: Sweet Mother of PRIMUS!

And now for another rendition of "Epic Rap Battles: Cybertronian edition."

I AM THE NEW POSTER BOY FOR ORBITZ GUM! YOU WILL OBEY ME!!!

Proof that I really am evil...COME ON, PITSSBURGH! I'VE GOT $2 MILLION RIDING ON THIS PRESEASON GAME!