Optimus helps Spike up the ladder

The Ultimate Caption Contest

Optimus helps Spike up the ladder
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260 captions have been posted for this image so far ...
digigirl411 writes: First you wanted to go up the ladder and then you wanted to go down and now you want to go back up again! Make up your mind already!
Decepticon Stryker writes: OP: "Hurry! Get out of here! Michael Bay's coming!!!"
Rainmaker writes: Spike: Optimus, if you don't realize...I'm stuck in the ladder
Optimus: I...can't...move...
bumblebeej8 writes: Prime: Watch your step, those stupid yellow boots make you clumsy.
Bonerking writes: "Spike, do these pants make me look fat?"

WF72 writes: Hurry up spike! if you get up there, maybe they'll finally announce the winner of the contest!
Energon Boss writes: seriously? you thought your lil rubber booties were sufficient for THIS, you're an idiot Spike...an IDIOT; now get up that damn ladder boy.
Ginrai Minor writes: Spike there will never be a new picture, just stay down here with me.....forever
jaystar2000 writes: Go up there, things are about to get ugly.
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redoutlander writes: You up that ladder yet Spike. I've been waiting here for over two years
popo5 writes: Just more proof we are better than you.
Crash Course writes: After you...
Madeus Prime writes: I wish we could have nice things, I'd trade Combiner Wars for a change of pic.
Automaster writes: I'm here...to see your butt!
Madeus Prime writes: blah blah
Riptidemtmte writes: O.P- "Hurry! the first copy of Half Life 3 is at the top!"
Spike- "That must explain why I'm taking forever..."
bombaykittenomi writes: OP: "I got your leg!" *Chuckles, amused*

SPIKE: "Damn it, Optimus, that's not funny!"
Torneira writes: Perhaps they change the caption contest once a year from now on, so hold on for a bit longer guys!!
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Torneira writes: This is what happens if you play around with Wheeljacks Immobilizer Spike... it is not a toy damnit!
UltraMarginal writes: you Pee'd in the pool, now you have to leave.
OptimusRhyme writes: I told you, Prime, but you kept rolling doobies and now you turn into A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!
OptimusRhyme writes: I told you, Prime, but you kept rolling doobies and now you would turn into A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!
Skyspeed writes: Optimus: Hurry up and evolve wings! I don't have all day.
TF Cagle writes: Optimus: Megatron is right, humans are slow!
snavej writes: In the year 1985, a teenager called Spike started climbing a ladder. Little did he know that he would still be there 30 years later. Next on 'America's Most Shocking'...
Lockdownhunter writes: Spike,go up the ladder and get my pizza bagels.Also,if you see Megatron's burritos there,SQUISH'EM,WRECK'EM and BLAST'EM INTO WELL...ER,YOU GET THE IDEA.Oh,and tell Grimlock and Slag to stop their quarrel about
"Cesium SALAMI!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Kingstarscream12345 writes: Welcome to the Michael bay free zone do Lu Lu lo Lu
CombaticonsCombine? writes: "So then I sez, I sez--"
"Optimus, I can't feel my arms."
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TheWeirdOne12 writes: This ladder leads to a world that doesn't have a million bumblebee toys! *climbs in 2 seconds*
bengear writes: You know Optimus, if you let go of my leg I might be able to finally get up this friggin ladder and we can just move on. My arms are tired.
NOBODY LOVES WHEELIE writes: Spike, "You laughed at the rubber boots."
empyre327 writes: Optimus the pedophyle cops a feel on young Spike.
Hammer writes: Does anyone from Seibertron actually know this is here? I mean, wow, it's on the front page, you think somebody would say "hey, guys, don't you think we should change the image now"? Either that, or trolling at its best
Legosrawsum writes: after being on the ladder for so long spike starts growing a beard
Nemesis Maximo writes: Optimus: Hurry, Spike! The new Caption Contest Picture is somewhere at the top!
Black Hat writes: Spike bravely attempts to climb the ladder up to Seibertron management to get them to change the picture.
Madeus Prime writes: How about a picture change, hm?!
Red Spider writes: Spike was disgusted by Prime's unrelenting incontinence.
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#Sideways# writes: This actually inspired Attack on Titan.

Look closely.
william-james88 writes: That's right... go up that ladder... nice and slow
Zircon writes: Please Hurry Spike, this salt water is Seriously Rusting my Junk.
#Sideways# writes: An Optimist Prime would say that Spike is going up the ladder...

But a Negatron would say that Spike is going down the ladder!
Optimum Supreme writes: This is a shocking turn of events! Optimus Prime, has just helped Spike climb the ladder and retrieve the Money in the Bank briefcase! The WWE Universe is stunned, who would ever have expected this from someone who's always stood for what's right?
fdelapena writes: Spike: AAAAH! I don't want to get in to the water.
Optimus: Don't worry ole Prime will teach you how to swim.
Bluespindash97 writes: Prime and Spike decided to re-enact Donkey Kong, but Prime took it to far when he flooded the city to force Spike to climb higher.
Wageboo writes: Optimus: Uh, Spike, wrong ladder. The real one's over there.
Spike: You're too late, anyway.
MONKEYZENTV writes: "Aw come on Spike, don't be like that. let me help you up"

"No Prime! that's the last time my boots are the but of one of your jokes"
lockdownisfresh writes: Alright now Spike, once you get up there lend a hand and help me up out of this sewage.
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snavej writes: Spike: If Bay screws up another Q&A session, I'll hire a Chinaman to slap him!

Optimus: OK but bear in mind the increasing cost of Chinese slappers.
snavej writes: Optimus: According to 'disleksik555' on YouTube, the 4th Transformers movie will be called 'The Age of Stinky Pants'.

Spike: Ahahaha! Well, the fans don't have the best hygiene, do they?!
snavej writes: It was about now that the fish got into Optimus' legs and started messing with his circuits. The urge to follow the currents never really left him afterwards.
snavej writes: Optimus: Thanks to my Matrix, I AM the Daddy AND the Mummy around here!

Matrix: I want to escape into deep space. Maybe get into movies or something.
Nemesis Maximo writes: My arms...so tired...
Madeus Prime writes: Blah blah blah, let's have a new caption already!
Acelister writes: Look Spike, you either let me up first or we BOTH drown. And I don't have to breathe.
kricket writes: keep climbing the water is not getting any highter
Nemesis Bolt writes: I could have helped you but if you think you can do it yourself....
Torneira writes: Well Spike, I have some bad news. There is an unlimited maximum of posts for the Caption Contest... So we might be here untill the release of the new movie, The Transformers 5: Waterworld
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Madeus Prime writes: Climb Spike! Climb like the next picture depends on it!
MagnetarPrime writes: Lazy admins need to change this picture , if you like it so much print it and hang it over your bed
Leader_Ultra_Magnus writes: Helping humans climb ladders since 1984.
Torneira writes: Spike, I've reached the end of my patience. Climb that damn ladder now, or I will kick your butt up there!
Black Hat writes: "Spike, I've been standing here so long my legs have rusted together. I can't move!"

"Maybe the Seibertron staff are at the top of this ladder..."
SFXPrime writes: Optimus: And I was like, hey babe I'm the leader of Autobots, am in ownership of the Matrix of Leadership, and have thwarted countless Decepticon threats against Earth. But you know what shes says to me? Shes said, "Oh, I only date Maximals, sorry."
Fires_Of_Inferno writes: Spike: "Optimus, where does this ladder go?"
Optimus: "To the new caption contest picture, Spike."
Blozor writes: So, Spike, this is what the humans call "swimming"?
Foximus writes: Paralyzed with fear, Spike will never move from that spot on that ladder. Optimus has rusted into a statue from trying to assist this man. We knew him well.
Deacon_Frost2004 writes: Optimus Prime is love. Optimus Prime is life.
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Blazere writes: Your hand is quite warm over my ass.
Madeus Prime writes: I regenerated and this sucker still hasn't?! Somebody shoot it!!!
#Sideways# writes: #ABANDON_THREAD
KirbyForce1 writes: This contest has been going on for like forever, and I think it's about time it ended.
Manterax Prime writes: Hey Optimus? Is the water even rising anymore?


Then why the hell are we still here?
jON3.0 writes: Hey, Optimus! It seems like we've been stuck in this caption contest forever!

Don't worry, Spike. I'm 4 million years old. I'll survive. But yeah, you'll be dead before they put up a new caption contest picture.
Madeus Prime writes: boring
Ditoni writes: Spike: Why are you touching my ass?
Prime: ... Just try
Galactimus writes: I know Optimus, but Obama promised affordable healthcare and I just can't find it anywhere. Maybe it's up here...
perithimus writes: Why would you build a tree house in the middle of the street?
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VioMeTriX writes: wow ive been on this ladder for over 6 months now... what the fuck, change me
Gravity76 writes: 'I'm going to let you out of the cage again Spike, but if you poop on my hand again your going straight back in.'
kilobravo writes: Nice glutes Spike...you been doing squats!!
snavej writes: Prime's nipples had been blasted so much, they were now glass-like in nature. And somehow also rectangular. Aliens are weird!
Starwave Prime writes: "Check out the articulation on my Masterpiece Spike"
jayphung writes: And I told Andrews "Well, I'm the best corner in the game. When you try me with a sorry receiver like [Michael] Crabtree, that's the result you're going to get. Don't you ever talk about me."
Then she asked, "Who was talking about you?"
"Crabtree, don
Blasphemous Prime writes: "can I give you a lift... A throw... Drop kick maybe?"
Blasphemous Prime writes: "You know Spike, there are faster ways to get to Cybertron."
#Sideways# writes: Spike, you're taking so long up this ladder it makes Seibertron changing this image look fast.
JaffleMaker writes: Marge.... change the channel!
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TFU2014 writes: Ok spike, baby steps.
Madeus Prime writes: Hey Optimus, I can see everybody going insane about the fact I haven't moved in over a year
Stormrider writes: Optimus: Spike, let me tell you about the story of the ladder that went no where.
Galactimus writes: Spike: Stupid robot, when i said i wanted to get high, this wasnt really what i had in mind.
MeGrimlock01 writes: Since the flood damaged the Spacebridge, we have to take this ladder back to Cybertron!!
Madeus Prime writes: *Yawn*
Grimlock3690 writes: go up spike so i dont see you. saying optimus prime
Deathscythetransform writes: as long as people keep posting jokes on this freaking picture they wont remove it...
Torneira writes: Easy does it Spike. But you don't have to exaggerate!
Madeus Prime writes: Yeah, this isn't fun anymore
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Deathscythetransform writes: me neither: I ran out of jokes for this boring picture
Madeus Prime writes: So how is everybody? Yeah I don't have a joke.
Omega Prime 11 writes: Spike: "Hey Optimus, couldn't you just give me a lift?"

Optimus: "But Spike, climbing is the right of all sentient beings..."
TFloverAngelPrime writes: Optimus:Go spike go! Before the Bro(Grunt from Amnesia)finds you!!!

Spike:I'm going I'm going.....Just help me with the ladder I don't want to fall...

Optimus:*groans in annoyance* fine
MagnetarPrime writes: boring,, joke is over
Deathscythetransform writes: Prime's letter to santa claus:

Dear Santa Clause,

Your pal Optimus Prime
Deathscythetransform writes: Spike: Climbin' the Ladder 'till new year's eve!
Manterax Prime writes: Damn it Prime! Just grab Spike so we can get out of here.
TRF Headquarters writes: OPTIMUS PRIME :Oh god spike, come on just jump!

SPIKE: No, crazy robots! Get away, go, shew, LEAVE ME ALONE! I can do this.
LevelRaze writes: Still making my way downtown.
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Deathscythetransform writes: quote:

SentinelA writes: They put Will Ferrel's ass on their news feed but will not change this picture.

my answer: I fucking agree...
Frenchhorngirl writes: "Only a little more until you get the giant plush banana, Spike!"
SentinelA writes: They put Will Ferrel's ass on their news feed but will not change this picture.
JaffleMaker writes: OP: You see Spike, Noah's ark wasn't a story, it was a prophecy. They just got the name wrong. I hope you enjoy the mate we picked for you.
SPIKE: Miley Cyrus?
OP: You should see the things she can do with Huffer's hammer
ERECTOR: Giggity
snavej writes: Optimus: 'You can earn $219 per hour working from home. Ask me how! Send your credit card details to op@ri-poff.net.
Spike: Someone debug this clanking old contraption!
snavej writes: Spike was an ordinary oil rig worker until the Transformers showed up. Then his life descended into a hell of nerds, poor animation, basement obsession, over-the-top movies and fungal infection caused by excessive wearing of yellow boots. Not to mention
snavej writes: Spike: Any idea who did this, Prime?

Optimus: We've narrowed it down to two options: a billion incontinent elephants or an army of rampaging ents.

Spike: So the 'cons are back on the Xmas card list!
snavej writes: This is why powerful alien robots and the Hoover Dam don't mix!
snavej writes: Optimus: So, how's the situation inside Metroplex's bottom.
Spike: [Shakes head] Bad!
Optimus: Yes?
Spike: It's infected.
Optimus: With what? Scraplets? Minoks?
Spike: No; geezers!
[Optimus clutches head and shudders.]
Deathscythetransform writes: I believe I can Cliiiiimb!!!
I believe I can touch the skies!!
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JaffleMaker writes: SPIKE: Geez, don't those Transformers nerd ever leave their computers?

They must have all been here for months!!
JaffleMaker writes: If I come back and climb this ladder tomorrow and these geezers are still here watching me, I'm making a complaint!!
JaffleMaker writes: Wheeljack: You see the water fried Primes electrics and when he grabbed Spike he completed the circuit and frying him as well.
Hound: Shouldn't we at least get Spike down? It's been months and he's really rotting and smelling funky.
Wheeljack: What's on
LevelRaze writes: Makin' my way downtown
Deathscythetransform writes: one way oar another, I'm gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna get there!!
snavej writes: Rama lama lama fa fa fa
Gonna get high 'til the day I die

[Primal Scream, yeah!]
snavej writes: Spike: I have a sudden urge to get my tits out!

Optimus: Er, well, go for it, my bold transsexual friend!
snavej writes: Looking on the bright side, at least all the acid-spitting rats have drowned!
snavej writes: You know who I blame for this? Miley Frikkin' Cyrus, man! She gone brought down the wrath of Poseidon, all that twerkin' an' such!
snavej writes: Cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good,
When the levee breaks, mama, you got to move.

[Led Zeppelin, dude!]
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Mjochmann64 writes: Son, I thought I told you never to climb that thing.
MagnetarPrime writes: Spike : I feel like I'm not going anywhere
Prime : I feel the same way...lol
Deathscythetransform writes: Won't this freaking ladder ever end????
After the Neverending story, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages, the Neverending Ladder!!!
#Sideways# writes: "GOODBYE PRIME. MY PEOPLE NEED ME."

jON3.0 writes: See, Spike, if I hold your leg, you'll never make it up the ladder!
Black Hat writes: Spike soon grew tired of Optimus's overprotectivness.
MagnetarPrime writes: caption number 124.
lets go all the way to 150 then switch it, would you? lol just joking, I like this picture
Deathscythetransform writes: it's been so long now that this Godforsaken picture was posted here... I don't even remember from which episode its from...
MagnetarPrime writes: spike: hey optimus would you stop moving your pinky in a circular motion? it feels,,,,, weird

Optimus. I will stop it once this picture has been taken down,,,,,, ,,,
Deathscythetransform writes: After that long test in the water, it was comfirmed that Optimus' legs are rust-proof...

can we now get a new pic

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Another Fan writes: Yahoo! News Politics: The government shutdown has clearly affected the beloved Transformers forum site, Seibertron.com, by not allowing the moderators to change the photo for the Ultimate Caption Contest.
Another Fan writes: Optimus: "Aren't you supposed to change the Ultimate Caption Contest photo?"
Spike: "Nah, I like hanging up here and watching the fans get frustrated. It's a secret pleasure of mine."
Another Fan writes: Spike: "This staring contest is ridiculous. You don't even blink!"
Another Fan writes: Spike: "I don't want to go here. I said that I"m fine with using a public toilet at a gas station."
Optimus: "If you do, I can never let you sit in the cab again."
Another Fan writes: Spike: "Dad always says that if I make a funny pose, it will stay that way forever. I should have known better than to let Optimus trick me. Thought he was a good guy..."
snavej writes: Spike tries to rise above his G1 addiction only to become lost in the Beast Wars.
Road Turtle writes: Prime, " The ONE time we need Seaspray, and he's on shore leave..."
Optimum Supreme writes: See kids? You should always have someone hold a ladder for you before you climb it. Now you know and... wait, wrong show. ROLL OUT!
Dazzler writes: "Optimus Prime's buy-ying me a Stairway to Heaven" sung to the tune of Stairway to Heaven by Lead Zepplin.
Maestro Meister writes: Despite what we were led to believe in the G1 cartoon episode, the Immobilizer's effects were not so temporary.
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greenlanterncorpsman writes: And now my lovely assistant Spike will attempt to...
snavej writes: Are those wee-wee stains on the front of Prime's nappy?!
MagnetarPrime writes: let me guess, the guys that are in charge of changing this picture are the same guys that work for EA BFBC2 (fyi bfbc2 for pc is all fucked up and EA is doing nothing to fix it)
craggy writes: "Don't forget your Shark Repellant Bat-Spray this time, Spike."
"I won't, Optimus."
Trikeboy writes: This is a very long ladder, I've been climbing for weeks.
Deathscythetransform writes: Prime: I wonder why you didn't climb all the way up yet, Spike...

Spike: That's because some BASTARD super-glued my feet inside my boots, then put hyper-super-duper glue ont the bars!!!
VioMeTriX writes: Man Spike, get your ass up there so we can finally get a new image
MagnetarPrime writes: Prime: I want some fish tacos
Spike: negative, we are out of guacamole
Prime: ay carramba !
MarkNL writes: Beam me up, Opty!
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snavej writes: W00t; 100!

Optimus: What are you going to do to celebrate the 100th caption?

Spike: Maybe, er, hang onto a rope ladder for a few more months?

Optimus: We sure know how to party, bro! [Starts dancing badly.]
snavej writes: Spike: Optimus, can you transform?

Optimus: I think so but sewage would spurt out of every crack.
snavej writes: Spike: I'm pretty sure that the smell around here is getting worse.

Optimus: That'd be me. I've been wading in this sewage so long that my internal mechanisms are clogged with tampons, condoms, wetwipes, paper towels, greaseballs, alligators and poo.
Kapiko Customs writes: Prime: "Spike, I could throw you up it would be much faster!
Spike:"Thanks Optimus but I prefer to get up there in one piece.Who know hows many times my body can handle this cartoon violence!
Deathscythetransform writes: seriously guys, we are runing out of quote ideas
please change the picture.

the joke's lasted long enough
Maestro Meister writes: No matter how fast or how long Spike ran on Wheeljack's giant, partially submerged hamster wheel, the Change-o-Picture-tron wasn't working.
Black Hat writes: "No, Prime, you can't climb up after me."
Deathscythetransform writes: Spike: I thing I figured out why our picture is still here...

Prime: What is ti, Spike?

Spike: Ithink the admins want it to hit the 100 caption mark...

Prime: gosh...
Deathscythetransform writes: Are we gonna have to enlist and sign a ******* petition to get a new picture???
Mechalemmiwinks writes: Prime: As you can see, teenage human males lack the intelligence to know that they cannot continue to climb a ladder while you hold their legs.
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SentinelA writes: Prime: Maybe if you climb this fucking latter, Siebertron.com will change this picture!
Foximus writes: Optimus: "Go Spike go! Before the Sharkitcons eat you!"
Spike: "There aren't any-"
Optimus: "I saw shark week on discovery channel! I know what I'm talking about! Soon the Sharknado will come!"
MINDVVIPE writes: Prime: Spike, you moron, just give up, you're never gonna make it up that ladder.

Spike: Your not my dad!

Prime: OoOoOoOoOHHH!!!
Deathscythetransform writes: Spike: Prime, I've been climbing this Godforsaken ladder for ages! Is this my punishment for saying ''Shit'' when I couldn't destroy Unicron?

Prime: Its not up to me, Spike, its up to Seibertron dot com's administrators to decide...

Spike: What
SentinelA writes: Prime: Aren't you tired of this picture?
Spike: Yep!
Deathscythetransform writes: Just like the Energiser Bunny, Spike gets going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going....
Deathscythetransform writes: Just like the Energiser Bunny, Skipe gets going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going....
Loyal To The End writes: EDIT "Spike ever play mgs3" ?"

No I can't say I have."

"Then this will all be new to to you."
Loyal To The End writes: "Spike ever play mgs3" ?
"No I can't say I have."
"Then this will all be knew to to you."
chirtman writes: "Follow me Prime! Cybertron is this way"

"Are you certain that this is the space bridge Spike?"
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snavej writes: Spike: Why do you have that plate over your mouth?

Optimus: I am a leader. I do a lot of thinking and chin-stroking. The plate protects my chin.

Spike: Or is it because you want to look like Bandit Leia?
VioMeTriX writes: isnt it amazing how we change scale with every scene? just a minute ago you were tiny spike, but look at you now!!!
snavej writes: Optimus: Now that I've gone over to the Dark Side, I expect you to climb until your arms and legs fall off. Then, my victory will be complete.

Spike: Secret 'Family Guy' fan, eh?
MagnetarPrime writes: optimus : darn decepticrips need to stop using that weather device,,,

Spike: is that a shark ?

Optimus: shut up and climb, I don't want to get rusted
Blasphemous Prime writes: "...But Spike, why are you climbing the ladder to the helicopter when I could just throw you up there by hand?
snavej writes: Optimus: I just sent my nipples away to Hangzhou City, China, for sandblasting.

Spike: I'm speechless with admiration!
snavej writes: Commemorative plates of this scene, in full colour, are available from www.CollectorsRuin.com for $4999.99 each plus $599.99 postage and packing.
omegasupreme69 writes: your last name wouldnt happen to be grayson would it? because the last time i did this with some graysons.....
Marcus Rush writes: Beaverton, home of the world's largest beaver dam, was waste deep in water today. Survivors seen here were lifted up by motorized rescue vehicles from Sony.
MagnetarPrime writes: Spike: so where will this ladder take me ?
Optimus : who the ... cares just hurry up so we can switch images. :P
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njb902 writes: So ya think this one will be up longer than brawn violating soundwave?
snavej writes: Optimus: If you climb high enough, you will reach the land of the giants.

Spike: You mean Super Fat Camp?

Optimus: On second thoughts, just see if you can find the next caption picture up there somewhere. People are becoming very, very bored with t
snavej writes: It wasn't the best way to generate energon but Optimus was past caring by now.
bulklebee0817 writes: Now, all we need is a magical harp to complete the picture
Spleenzorio writes: You're sure this rope ladder will hold me?
Metrosuplex writes: "You've bested Decepticon dummies, fought a Starscream drone, and braved the gauntlet. Now, Spyke, there remains but one more test to become a full-fledged Autobot. But be warned, this test will require a spotter..."
snavej writes: Spike: What do you think of those Jaegers, Prime?

Optimus [muttering]: Gonna stick those cheap knockoffs up their pacific rim, alright!
snavej writes: Optimus: I'm not really allowed in any public building around here.

Spike: WhatyoutalkinaboutPrime?

Optimus: My smokestacks are always a little bit, you know, smoky.
snavej writes: Optimus: Thanks to my truck lights, my crotch is amply illuminated to show off anything in that area.

Spike: Meaning?

Optimus: My truck nuts, naturally.
mcjr85 writes: Spike: Seriously Optimus, stop shaking the ladder!!!

Optimus: LOL... okay, okay...
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Sid Burn writes: Optimus - Humanity knew of their part in Earth's global warming and did nothing?!?
MagnetarPrime writes: Hurry up Spike so we can change this image to the next one :) it is getting kind of old :P
Spike: I agree
steve2275 writes: are sure the money in the bank briefcase is up there prime
LevelRaze writes: Prime: Perhaps we should've let Bumblebee fully lubricate on that man in the first movie, cause now he's gone and sprung a huge leak. Now up the weak ladder you go Spike/Sam, whoever you are.
Stormtrooper53 writes: Yes, Spike. There is a ladder to heaven. In this case, Omega Supreme's taint.
snavej writes: Spike's acting career was so scrucked up, he had to take a part in 'Sentient Diaper-Wearing Trucks 3: Revenge of the Fallen Dukie'.
snavej writes: Spike: Stop waving your hands near me. One little slap from you could break my spine!

Optimus: Fine, I'll go and wave my hands near someone else, maybe that young Mike Bay over there.
snavej writes: Optimus: When you go above 30,000 feet all your troubles will be over.

Spike: I'll die of a lack of oxygen.

Optimus: Precisely.
Ravage XK writes: For the love of Primus, you've been climbing that ladder for weeks now. Get a move on.
stevescustoms writes: Prime, I really don't feel comfortable with you touching me there.
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Deathscythetransform writes: Spike: Remind me why Omega Supreme dedided to ''lubricate'' the humans of this city?

Optimus Prime: Because he was very ''pissed'' at them for Choosing Metroplex as the first toy of the Titan Class...
Antron writes: Optimus: You know Spike, I'm always ready to lend you a helping hand but, I really think you should get a doctor to check your prostate.
snavej writes: Spike: Why do you smell so bad today?

Optimus: A skunk got into my cab just as I was transforming. It got squished in there. Wheeljack's trying to find a way to clean out the residue.
speros writes: Spike: Carleys not wearing panties today.

Optimus: This is very pleasing to my optic sensors
Marcus Rush writes: Optimus Prime, he was there during the floods of Katrina and the devastation of Sandy... He pulled survivors from the wreckage. But where was Megatron? Sitting on the board of directors for Dewey Screwya and Howe. Megatron Wrong on Environment, wrong for
snavej writes: Optimus: Then Megatron combined the nanoscale ray and the inconstancy ray to make a superweapon. For a time, no one could stand against the nan-cy ray gun.

Spike: Ha ha! Get outa here!

Optimus: Luckily, the counterweapon was astrology.
snavej writes: Spike: Remind me how this flood happened.

Optimus: Well, it all started with an argument over telegraph poles, then there were riots, pogroms, revolutions, invasions, an arms race, some kind of 'bouncing bomb' and here we are. Sorry, it's a bit compli
snavej writes: Operation 'Escape from Obama, flee to Ecuador' continued day and night.
Pathopax writes: Spike: I call top bunk!
Optimus: I have err, "minor" leakage issues. But this new metal diaper allows you to see when I need a change...
Unknown writes: Optimus: C'mon Spike, Vietnam isn't bad, all of my friends that went came back fine.

Except for the human ones, they all died...
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Deathscythetransform writes: OP: The Higher you get, the better the view, Shortpants.
Bumblevivisector writes: SPIKE: So using this human-built electric-shaver transport that Megatron stole, we can move these floodwaters from Iowa to extinguish the wildfires out west?

OP: Except it's not really Megatron; his voice patterns confirm he was possessed by Mumm-Ra.
Zetatron writes: Spike: Explain why are you just handing me over to the Decepticons one more time?

Optimus: Just trying to save some time. You've got your toothbrush, tooth paste, extra clothes?

Spike: Yeah.

Optimus: Alright, have fun, we'll see you when we come
SpeedyEric writes: Spike: Carly, hand me down the Autobot repelent Bat-spray!
snavej writes: Spike: There are some abandoned offices over there. Go and get me a hole punch. I need one.

Optimus: Why don't you ask my good friend Hole Punch for his help?

Spike: The DECEPTICON Hole Punch punched a hole in my dog, that's why not.
snavej writes: Optimus: With all this flooding, I'm glad that we have THE ARK!

Spike: You mean the broken spaceship stuck in the volcano?

Optimus: Correct! We're gonna rescue all the animals, especially the lesbian seagulls.
snavej writes: The Ultimate Caption Contest: soon to be renamed 'The Twitter Feed of the Insane Transfans'.
snavej writes: Spike: When I grow up, I want to be a big ol' internet troll. My battle cry will be 'troll-lol-lol!'

Optimus: Been there, done that, back on Cybertron. Happy memories!
Maestro Meister writes: Spike: "Did Astrotrain's army break the water main again?"
Optimus: "No, it's snavej's caption flood."
snavej writes: Optimus: One day, we're going to turn you into a Headmaster. There'll be so much metal in you, Wolverine will be jealous. Also, you'll be able to order pizza just by thinking about it.

[Spike soils himself.]
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snavej writes: Spike: Why do you wear a faceplate?

Optimus: Hmm, what lie can I tell this time? I know! I had a botched cosmetic surgery operation. My lower face looks like an accident in the Skoda car factory.

Spike: Can I have an advance on my actor's salary
DarkMatrixPrime writes: Keep Climbing Spike your'e almost to Metroplex's anus !
snavej writes: There was an uncontrollable outbreak of urination in New York and extraterrestrial assistance was needed to salvage the situation.
snavej writes: Optimus' stories about how he kept dying in violently heroic ways went on so long that Spike had to be taken away by helicopter.
snavej writes: Technically it was true, Optimus did get Spike high. He also fetched him some grass ... from the lawn.
snavej writes: Optimus: They call me Optimus because I'm the best.

Spike: They call me Spike because of what I put in young ladies' drinks... (Shouldn't have said that, really.)
snavej writes: Optimus: I have to save you, Spike.

Spike: Huh?

Optimus: I predict that you have a big future in modelling yellow boots.

Spike: Nah, Dad's the top model for that.
snavej writes: On Madonna's 'Drowned World' tour, things were starting to get out of hand (and into helicopters).
trailbreaker writes: Prime - "We need to get to the bottom of your bed wetting problem...."
BRIANSINGLETON writes: Prime: "Now, Sam don't ever say I didn't help you climb the ladder."

Spike: "I meant the social ladder Optimus, The Social Ladder!

Prime: "Oops, my bad."
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Evil_the_Nub writes: "Can you hurry up Spike? I've been standing is this water too long and my robo-diaper is full."
Kibble writes: Spike: Hey Prime, where did your pinky finger gOWWWWW!!!!!!!!!?
Towline writes: A local youth is the first in line for Universal Studio's "Transformers the Water Ride."
Ravage XK writes: Prime: I'm sorry, I got nervous and I just couldn't stop!
Spike: Oh no, its gone into my boots. It sticks! You been eating Asparagus?
snavej writes: Optimus [sings]: My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard...

Spike: Not appropriate, you clueless truck!

Optimus [sings]: Pass the Dutchie 'pon the left hand side!

Spike: I'm not with him! He's not my friend! He's just embarrassing!
snavej writes: Optimus: Are you going to carry on denying climate change now?

Spike: Yes, as long as the oil company (for which I work) still pays me to do it. Oh, by the way, everyone should vote Bush in 1988!
snavej writes: Optimus [sings]: ...and he's climbing a stairway to heaven, yes he's...

Spike: Old - music - not - helping. Shut - up.
snavej writes: Spike: How do we know that this ladder's safe?

Optimus: I'll pull it to test its strength.


Spike [in water]: Soaked! The yellow wellies did nothing! NOTHING!
snavej writes: Optimus insisted on wearing an oversized white diaper, even on missions, 'just in case'.
snavej writes: Optimus: Yes, everyone's very sorry that your Barbie collection got ruined in the flood. [Chuckles quietly.]

Spike: Basement storage sucks.
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snavej writes: Optimus: Climb up. Sandstorm will take you to safety.

Spike: Is Sandstorm supposed to be grey?

Optimus: Oh, sorry, Vortex will take you to safety.

Vortex: Yes, safety. Haahaaahaaaa!

Optimus: It's not my day today.
snavej writes: Optimus: For no good reason, I will now touch your bottom.

[Spike climbs faster than ever before.]
snavej writes: Optimus: And while you're up there, why not do a trapeze act for our amusement?

Spike: It's not safe.

Optimus: The raw sewage will break your fall!
snavej writes: Why bother rescuing all the humans when you can just rescue the same one over and over again?!
Ravage XK writes: I am climbing a rope ladder in wellies and I am NOT HAPPY. Cheers Prime, you could easily lift me up but no I have to climb in WELLIES!!!
WolfSpider1979 writes: "Optimus, how am I supposed to slither through these rungs, when the ropes are digging into my shoulders?"
King Slick writes: Hurry Spike, we are going to miss the Spurs putting Queen James in her proper place!
Bumblevivisector writes: OPTIMUS: Global warming has finally caused ocean levels to catch up to Earth's major cities. Oh well, no way to break our reliance on fossil fuels, it's out of our hands.

SPIKE: Yeah...why'd you tell Grapple to scrap that solar tower again?
Poyguimogul writes: Optimus Prime and Spike Witwicky on set of the new Shoots and Ladders movie directed by Michael Bay.
Ratbat writes: Up the ladder you go, Spike! Have fun aboard The Ark!
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Transformers Podcast: Twincast / Podcast #211 - On The Prowl
Twincast / Podcast #211:
"On The Prowl"
MP3 · iTunes · RSS · View · Discuss · Ask
Posted: Sunday, November 4th, 2018

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