Captions by TetraReris

The rubber wheels are made by 100 percent Iraqi oil. In fact all it's plastic parts are 100 percent Iraqi oil.

What? No 'how to pick up a female planet' column? Cursed humans!

Astrotrain: Look! I'm ready for that 'raise your hands if your sure' commercial.
Starscream: You aren't doing that right, let me show you how it's done.
Ramjet: Burn! Burn! Burn!

Onsy: My eye!
Offscreen: The eyes have it.

Jazz: A little further and we can drop him in the water.
Perceptor: Excellent, I wish to practice my locomotion for the log rolling contest.
Human: I didn't know Transformer participated in the Highland Games!

Galvatron: This Richard Simmons guy is a taskmaster! I must emulate him! Tidalwave: What no Tae Bo dude? Aww!

*all landing at once*
Starscream: Ow my foot!
Soundwave: Linkages overtaxed. Suggestion: Follow the leader over a cliff bad idea.
Megatron: It didn't look that far before we jumped!

We're the Princes of the Universe!

See! I can almost cross my eyes!

Spike: Next time I'm the quarterback!
Bee: But if you run in for the score, you can take your name literally!
Spike *groan*

off screen: KREMZEEEEKK!!!
Fred: Ow! This is worse than that time I stuck my tongue on a D sized battery.

Primal: Look! I can make a sand angel!
Rhinox. Uhmm hmm... that's nice.

Jets and Rumble *trying not to laugh*
Megatron: Every single time! Soundwave! Next time tell me I'm about to step into a hole!

Everyone: Run it's Devestator!
Death's Head (off screen) Not him you should be worried about, yes?

Carly and Spike *trying hard not to laugh*
Prime: Ooooo. Ow. I got to talk to Grapple about that uneven spot on the floor.

Honest humans, the turbofoxes on Cybertron are as big as my buddy here.

Rattrap: Help! Dinobutt has lost it! Help!
Dinobot: Shut up and take your medicine vermin.
Primal: Rhinox, please let me up.
Rhinox: Sorry boss, but that fued needed to be settled a long time ago.

Slag: Look what me found.
Snarl: Is dead?
Sludge: Me no think so.
Swoop: Can Swoop peck his eye out?
Grimlock: Me say we all stomp!

Blaster: Oof! Ow! Bad kitty! Not nice to scratch up the upholstry.
Ironhide: Get out already, your ruining my shocks!

Arcee: *Giggling furiously*
Kup: It's not that funny, lass.
Blurr: HonestItrippedIsweartoPrimusKup!Manyouneedtowaxmore.

Ratchet: Wheeljack? WHEELJACK!? Great, I'm a doctor not a stone mason!

Thrust: I wanted that cool Steve Martin as a Pharoah costume from that show, but hit is all they had in my size. What do you think?

Worker: Hold on a sec. May I help you?
Soundwave: Drop the phone and no one gets hurt.
Starscream: But I wanted to squish him!

Onsy: You look like you need a hug, you pyschopath you.
Vorty: Don't make me torture you later! Get off! AH!

All cassettes: Again with the jumping without a parachute or a bungee!
DC: I'm in the same sitation and you dudes!

Bee: C'mon I know that comes off!
Spray: For the last time it doesn't. Let me show you. *pushes hard* See!?!

Z: Honest Soundwave, it's NOT what it looks like. Prime: Told you so.

Why yes I would like a Hawaiian Punch.

Spike: Look at this prop I got for Daniel's report on inhalent use.
Bumblebee: You should see the size of the inhalent cannister in Red's room.

Bumblebee: See you grab it like this.
Perceptor: That is illogical. I like to stand up and wave my hands like this.
Brawn: Would you get your aftplates out my face Perceptor before I make you?!

Dirge: Ow! Ow! Dangit I am not paid enough for this job! And for the last time I am NOT Super Dave!
Rex: Grr?

See? I did not blow my nose on my hand. Now guess where my other one is!

I'm sorry I couldn't find a hat in my size. Will this do?