Captions by ACStarscream

"We're not lost! There's hundreds of these mound-thingies in this place! No need to ask for directions!"

When animals turn rabid, they usually froth at the mouth. Starscream, however, decided on a different approach...

When planning to cream pie a Transformer, it is advisable to first adjust for scale...

Optimus Prime and the Man in the Yellow Shirt flag down Random Passerby #37 to help them resolve the age-old debate of "Which way did he go?" ["That way!" "No, he went that way." "No, THAT way!"]

"Stick out your arm and point... No human, I didn't say 'Simon Says'! Ha ha! I win!"

Trypticon: The best home security $15 million can buy!

The biggest shoe any kid ever had to shine?

Yet another day ends in failure as our two biologists try in vain to hunt down the elusive "tin turkey"...

Having Galvatron as leader means spending a lot of time in repair bay due to injuries taken, and not just from Autobot artillery fire...

"You see any sign of a new entry for the UCC Spike?"

"No and we've been searching three weeks now!"

Bumblebee updates his LiveJournal...

"...take ... me ... to ... your ... lea-der..."

"And if you walk behind him, you'll see this wind-up key. Just give it a few turns and...."

Optimus Prime: the Mini-con Edition.

"Now aren't you glad we got FM?"

Doesn't matter how big or small they are, there's always at least two people willing to fight over the last toy in the store.

Behold! The biggest knock-off Transformer ever! And it doesn't even transform!

Even giant alien robots have their shy, socially-awkward types.

"Lost? How can we be lost? You've got Earth mapped twenty times over in your CPU!"

"Shut up human and ask for directions!"

"Honey? Where'd that red and black iron condor come from?"

"'Iron condor'? That's not in the field guide..."

"Here comes Laserbeak!"

Later, when asked about that "Incident in the desert", Sergeant Epps would curl up into a ball and sob uncontrollably for hours on end, muttering something about "The scorpions. The scorpions are gonna kill me"...

"...and I want a couple gallons of Häagen-Dazs Cookies and Creme, a bottle of Coke Zero, some peanuts, spicy nachos with extra cheese, oh, and don't forget those little pine-scented air fresheners Spike..."

Well before he was reformatted into Galvatron, Megatron showed signs of the madman he was to become...

You want a *second* opinion?

"That'll do pig; that'll do."

Optimus Prime, old and senile, cannot understand why the cars in the parking lot won't "transform" or "roll out".

"Smile at me like that all you like. I'm still not giving you a pay rise."

Cyclonus the Warrior's little-known secret: his tencency to "cry like a girl".

Cyclonus found out the hard way that the Universal Greeting loses a lot in translation when converted to American Sign Language.

The Annual Decepticon Charades Contest is about to take a tragic turn when Cyclonus makes the ultimate mistake of "correcting" Galvatron's pronounciation of the word "charade"...

Grimlock stop! It's dead enough! You can stop stomping now!

"And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson!"

Successful efforts by the Decepticons to get Galvatron to take his medication regularly were fraught with problems of their own...

Drag Strip becomes the latest victim of Decepticon friendly fire.

Relegated to the cheap seats Unicron will forever regret not having purchased his tickets to BotCon sooner...

Due to the shortage of turkey mechs this year, the Decepticons resort to using Starscream for their wishbone.

In a related caption for this week's contest, Starscream's wish did not come true...

Galvatron's Quintesson costume was very unconvincing...

"I am the Egg Man! Coo-coo-ca-choo!"

The consequences of not delivering a Decepticon's pizza order on-time...

Coming this fall to the National Geographic Channel! Bumblebee is ... "The Bot Whisperer"!

For sale on Ebay: Authentic G1 Megatron costume for child. Near-mint condition. Missing mask and gloves. Used once. Asking for $1,000 US. Kid not included [thankfully].

GARY LARSON: Decepticon Cosplayers.

MEGATRON: Captioning this is almost too easy Starscream.

STARSCREAM: Much easier, o mighty Megatron, than our entry for last week's contest.