Captions by Bumblevivisector

To think, Scorpinok just ignored Skullcruncher's suggestion of stomping the Nebulans into pink slime. The fool had no idea what he was missing!

"Dammit Hot Rod, WHY didn't you jump in to save Optimus before Megatron surprised him with that pistol? All of Transfandom will forever curse your idiotic inaction now that Marvel-originalism has eclipsed Geewun-Sunbow-purism!"

Bumblebee? But...I'm allergic to bee stings!

"Dammit, Lockdown bombed the wrong arena! Tigatron Stadium can only be built in time for Animated if Comericon Park is destroyed, not the slaggin' Silverdome!"

Sensing his end was near due to poor QC on his Unite Warriors shuttle toy, Blast Off valiantly kamikazed the poster for that franchise-crippling Combiner Wars cartoon, freeing the caption contest from its months-long grip. And that's what's left of him.

"See, told ya! This is the world after just 3 days of President Trump!"
"Yeah, well my mom says Hillary's emails woulda' done this to baseball, AND the Olympics!"

"Wow, so even a space shuttle crash taking out the halftime show couldn't make this dumb sport exciting"
"Well, our afternoon's free now. Who wants to see the Power Rangers movie?"

3 FEMBOTS IN BACKGROUND: "NO, we are NOT doing a strip show to give your animators 'inspiration' for BlackArachnia's CG model!"

MAINFRAME: "No, I'm not THAT Mainframe..."

"They changed the pic for the first time in over a solar cycle?!?!?! What the..."

SPIKE: So using this human-built electric-shaver transport that Megatron stole, we can move these floodwaters from Iowa to extinguish the wildfires out west?

OP: Except it's not really Megatron; his voice patterns confirm he was possessed by Mumm-Ra.

OPTIMUS: Global warming has finally caused ocean levels to catch up to Earth's major cities. Oh well, no way to break our reliance on fossil fuels, it's out of our hands.

SPIKE: Yeah...why'd you tell Grapple to scrap that solar tower again?

"Dammit, this isn't doing it for me. After living with Charlene, going through an automated car wash just feels like...what do the humans call it? MASTICATION? No, but the word's something close to that..."

BLITZWING: "I have reliable intel saying Blackout visited this year's Superbowl for almost an hour, need to know if he was a helicopter, or half a B-1! Spill it, footballer!"

Yes, as Marvel cancelled the G1 TF book for being silly kiddy-crap unsuitable for the serious, extreme '90s, they green-lit "NFL Superpro". Seriously, look it up. Blitzwing was as confused and frustrated as anyone else.

DIRGE: "Dammit, someone else must remember that lost clip of me tackling Optimus just before he fought Megatron in TFTM, and I'm gonna' probe the memory of every Autobot until I can prove it!"

BEE: "Not a clip showing how you survived getting eaten?"

"HEY! You're stealing the emperor's new groove!"

"Whaddya' mean? Groove won't debut for another 15 episodes!"

BEE: "I've had it up to HERE with having to BEEP instead of talk in the Bayniverse and Aligned!"

SPRAY: "As opposed to being made a Wrecker long enough to be killed offscreen? Cry me a river blblblblb-itch!"

BEE: "So you're sure Alana was staring at your robot feet, and not your...um...never mind..."

"Gotta' push the subspace window open wide enough for all my parts to get through - HNNNNNGGGG! - hold on a sec..."

MEGATRON: "I'll just tell the Autobots that this is the control for my ULTIMATE WEAPON, and they'll back down like the cowards they are...wait, what am I saying? Why, I'd have to go completely insane to think they'd fall for that..."

Little did Megatron know he was holding Scrounge in his new alt mode...

I can't believe these awesome Bash-Bots ended up at five Below! Huh? What do you mean they aren't RC toys, and I'm holding a grill lighter!?!

DESTROY-MONARCH: "The quality of those KO gestalt-team gift-sets really is going downhill; first they replace Dead End and Wildrider with Technobots, and now I only get half a Breakdown!"

MEGATRON: "Hmmm, I thought this sort of thing only happened to Mirage..."

HRRP! HRRP! LRT MR RRT RF HRRR! R CRN"T BRRTH RN THRS THRRNG!

The latest McDonald's promotion somehow resulted in some Happy Meals containing a Megatron/FryGuy/Meatwad hybrid.

Alas, Megatron's new boulder alt mode just inspired kids to throw him at each other, causing more injuries that his original toy being mistaken for a real gun.

"So lemme' get this straight: some guy names this custom rig we're in MOTORMASTER, after the Stunticon leader, so now Hasbro renames the character MOTORBREATH just in case they can't challenge this thing's trademark?"

RUMBLE: Hnnngh! I've almost got the vegetable pulled out of subcon--what? This is Mario KART, not Mario 2?

RUMBLE: Whaddya' mean, "Deja Vu much?"

RUMBLE: "My Masterpiece toy IS gonna' be articulated enough to pull off this pose, right? If any collector has to use some fugly 3rd-party toy as my stunt-double again, I swear to Primus..!"

RUMBLE: "You mean RUMBLE takes--wait, am I sitting on someone?"
MUELLER: "MMMPHH! HRRRP! LRRT MRR RRT RF HRRRR!"

RUMBLE: "Wait, wasn't I human-sized when we first woke up and attacked that oil rig? That was only 2 years ago, why can't I fit into this thing now? Huh? Whaddya' mean 'Cuz I can't drive stick'?!?"

RUMBLE: "Cmon, remember Pac-Man's nickname in his cartoon? Hell, that's a racial slur in the UK, and I've never heard complai-"
MEGATRON: "But THAT name wasn't slapped on a toy in British markets! We are NOT calling this guy SPASTIC!!!"

RUMBLE: "Wow, this thing really IS fast! We pulled in front of the last pic in 1/100th of the time it needed to replace that one of dad and Brawn!"

OPTIMUS: "Hey, look at all those ads for 3rd party stuff in the bar on the right! Did that Uranos guy just call me Knight Morpher?"

PROWL: "At least the Play Arts chick seems to have largely replaced that bearded t-shirt guy...D'OH! He's back..."

B.K. CASHIER: "Sir, you need to be in a car to use the drive-thru..."

OPTIMUS: Hey, what the heck were Brawn and Soundwave just doing over there for 3 months?

MP-13 SOUNDWAVE: Hear that announcement from Toy-Fair, Brawn? If you just let me go and wait a few months, you can grab Hasbro Soundwave AND 5 cassettes all at once!

BRAWN: I've got a feeling Seibertron will just have me hold onto you until then...

They say perception stretches out the last moment of your life to infinity. I get it now: this pic isn't frozen, it's me who's dying of a heart attack. And there is no afterlife. Only this dumb image. Forever. Goodbye, Seibertron.com. Goodbye.

BRAWN: Ever notice how the orange thing protruding behind my head kind of looks like an electrical plug? Like Megavolt on Darkwing Duck? Yeah, neither did I, UNTIL I HAD TO WATCH MYSELF IN THIS SAME PIC FOR OVER 2 F@#%ING MONTHS!

BRAWN: Okay, you see what I'm about to do to Soundwave? That's what Beast Machines did to G1 cartoon continuity! Cuz any organic core had to have been forcibly injected! CHANGE! THE! PIC! NOW!!! Or else I'm gonna' elaborate...

SOUNDWAVE: A moot point; in FoC I basically turn into that armored car that fires pizzas/manhole covers, a lasting curse of our our American G1 toyline's defeat by the Ninja Turtles.

BRAWN: Say, I just figured out the deal with that thing on your shoulder! Your Cybertronian alt mode was a rotary pay phone, not a lamp post after all!

...one man leave, you say? It looks to me like neither of them are ever leaving. Oh, right, Master-Blaster, cuz Soundwave...there's no connection, is there? sigh

Or maybe it was the immobilizer! Yeah, have Carly try reversing the wires, or have Ironhide just shoot the damn thing, just let them move even a single frame!

Oh, okay, NOW I get it, they got hit with those same nano-particles HiQ poisoned all of Nebulos's fuel with, and THAT's why they're frozen this way forever!

Do I get the No-Prize?

Or can they get some Powermaster engines? Please?

BRAWN: A whole MONTH of mostly perverted captions is enough! If they won't put up a new pic, let's riff on that last one from Animated.

SOUNDWAVE: Okay. Observation: Optimus has turned 50 shades of gra-

BRAWN: D'OH!

Of course, Soundwave wasn't REALLY worried until he activated his emergency chute...

SOUNDWAVE: G1 Brawn being able to hang onto my Masterpiece toy with stupid wrench-hands: impossible. Conclusion: Assailant is 3rd Party Product!

HENCH: We'll see if collectors can save up for you AND your $70 cassette teams in time to stop iGear!