Captions by Acelister

Look Spike, you either let me up first or we BOTH drown. And I don't have to breathe.

Hound: "And your boots are the eighty-fourth reason I don't like you. Reason eighty-five is... Hey, get back here!"

Spike: "What kind of Transformer doesn't refuel before leaving the Ark...?"
Hound: "Just get me some energon, Spike!"

Windcharger: "Is that a... Camera filming us?"
Bumblebee: "You know, I think it is..."

This moment, brought to you by Fujifilm.

Optimus: "And over there is the burial mound of Sigmund Freud."
Guy in yellow: "And over there's the first caveman bank."
Kid in grey: "I only wanted to know where the bathroom is..."
Optimus: "In that case, you

Ratbat (off panel): "Impressed? I call it the Dancitron of Doom!"
Soundwave (also off panel): "Ratbat needs hobby..."

Spike: "See, I told you our date would be interesting..."

Sgt. Epps: "You can't say they never warned us about scorpions in our boots!"

Bumblebee: "Figure's I'd have to play with myself all over the Christmas period..."

Though the Conventioneer's sacrificed the virgin blood to the Idol, his spirit remained with the Matrix.

Transformers: Attack of the Giant Savage Completely Invisible Aliens!
Arcee: "Dear Primus help us! There's one in here with us!"
Ultra Magnus: "What...? Where?"
Director: "Cut!"

Arcee: "When the slag did that get there?!"
Ultra Magnus: "Have you even SEEN me before?!"

Cyclonus: "Lord Galvatron!"
Galvatron: "Whu... Who? Cyclonus! I was having that dream where I destroy that human brat and the Autobots make me Galvatron Prime in celebration, again! How dare you interupt!"

Submarauder: "It's HOW MUCH for the patch and peg-leg?! Suppose I could just not buy the parrot... But then what's the point in being a pirate..."
Skullgrin: "Y'know yer not really a..."
Bomb-Burst: "Hey... Let

Trukk not Munky? Trukk AND Munky!

Woman: "Excuse me, Optimus Prime, I just slashed your tires."
Prime: "RARGH!"
X-Brawn: "Hehe, that never gets old..."

Teletran: "Alert! Alert! The camera above this screen is transmitting your movements to Optimus Prime."
Bumblebee: "Uh oh..."

Bumblebee: "What's that on the top'a that screen, is it a camera? Is it a camera?"
Jazz: "You listen to that song for three minutes an' ya can't get it outta your head? You heard one music track the whole'a the t

Director: "NO NO NO! Prime, you appear BEHIND the smoke, you fool!"
Optimus: "I'm sorry... Let's do it again..."
Director: "Take 47, ACTION!"

Optimus: "Just don't move kids! The tsunami of debris and painful, painful smoke can't see you if you stay still!"
Alexis: "WE'RE GONNA DIE!"

Alexis: "So that's Cybertronian Sumo Wrestling..."
Rad: "But did you have to blow up Red Alert...?"
Optimus: "C.S.W. demands that the loser is sacrificed. Sorry kids, that's the law..."

Carlos: "Wow Optimus, when you explain the war like that, it makes the Decepticons look much more evil!"
Alexis: "And the jazz hands really finish it off well."
Prime: "Well Hot Shot told me it was uncool..."

Galvatron: "I'm the Galvatron, beeyotch!"
Dragstrip: "If he was a Junkion, I'd understand all the Earthling references..."
Wrek-Gar: "Nyuk, nyuk!"

Galvatron: "And THAT's why they call me Bender The Magnificent!"
Dragstrip: "Lord Galvatron... I'm not sure... But I don't think he blasted someone before sayin' that..."
Galvatron: "Who said what now?&quot

Starscream: "It's lucky? LUCKY? The bird was lucky I didn't see it!"

Starscream was first pick for a part in There's Something About Mary, but obligations to evil meant he had to be replaced.

Starscream, aiming to quell the foodfight, was not amused to be hit by ice cream.

Superion: "Tell me a joke, funny man!"
A3: "These two Quintesson's walk into a Space Bar..."
Superion: "QUINT'S CAN'T WALK!"
*A3 is crushed*

Superion: "So... all my seperate formms have blue eyes... How do I have red eyes...?"
A3: "I don't know, STOP ASKING!"

Superion: "W3 1337 h4x0rz!"
A3: "I thought installing AOL in you would overload you... Instead, you've become 5u93r10n!"
5u93r10n: "R0x0rz!"

A3: So, we're giant robots... And in the future, a giant giant robot is built... why?"
Superion: "Wait'll you see Metroplex..."
A3: "Wait till YOU see Unicron..."
Superion: "Jokes on you, I WON'T!"

Superion: "An early mold Alpha Trion PEZ dispenser!"
Optimus Prime: "No, Superion! A3 came here from the past! We have to get him back before..."
*CRACK*
Superion: "No PEZ... Only circutry..."

Trypticon: "You can live if you can guess my name."
Boy: "Rumplestiltskin!"
girl: "Don't be stupid, Timmy!"
Trypticon: "How did you guess? How?!"
Girl: "... O...Kay..."

Girl: "You can't hurt us! You're not real!"
One squished child later...
Boy & Man: "What do you want us to do, oh Master!"

Trypticon: "I don't think I'm on Cybertron no more..."
Girl: "You've never been to Cybertron..."
Trypticon: "In my dreams, I have..."
Boy: "Oh great, now you went an' made him cry..."

Old Man: "Take what you want, just don't hurt me!"
Boy: "Dude!"
Old man: "I mean don't hurt either of us!"
Girl: "DUDE!"
Trypticon: "I was only here to boost my iron level by eating trees... But

Trypticon's one vice: Watching human's pick fruit.

Trypticon: "Yeah, that's it... Now smell her a little..."
Boy: "But, Grampa..."
Old Man: "Shh, Johnny... Just do what the scary robot wants..."

Finally, the moment fans have waited for... Nude pictures of Marissa!

Galvatron was always used as the ball for the annual Cybertronian Ceasefire Vollyball Tournament.

This is the Before and After image of Galvetron using Ultra-Slim! Proof, once again, that human diet plans don't work on Transformers.

Spike: "Soon, my pretties... Soon you shall hatch and we will rule the world!"

Kid: "This costume took me all day to build!"
Father: "Yeah... You..."

When the Autobots developed Megatron Seeking Missiles, the Decepticon's took drastic measures.

Alien: "This ain't as glorious as the posters said in the Vet Recruitment Agency..."

Ravage: "This is demeaning for us both..."

Alright, which one of you wise guys farted?

Fast Tracks: "I knew I shouldn't have had that brownie..."

Fast Tracks: "You know guys... It's not technically illegal... It's just 'self love'..."