Captions by Road Turtle

There was another ancient race of mechanical beings, they called themselves Gobots. Sadly they didn't survive the 80's.

...and that my boy, is how I met your mother. She was kidnapped by a robot.

...and that my young padawan,is how I used the Matrix of Leadership to defeat Voldemort during the Battle of Five Armies when I was stationed on Babylon 5 over Eternia.

Mos Eisley Spaceport, you'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

Spike, "I like your idea of a Talking Heads tribute band, but how you gonna play the instruments?"

Megatron (off screen), "You failed me for the last time Starscream!"

Starscream, "Oh shut up, you over-sized minicon!"

Megatron, "What did you say!?"

Rumble, "...and this is why you're uncrasimatic!"

Starscream, "Shut up, or I'll have you unspooled!"

Ratchet, " Ah, ha, ha, you're not serious about giving the Dinobots small brains are you? Wheeljack?"

"We want, A Shrubbery!"

Sunstreaker, "...Can't they just reverse engineer me a mold?! It's a freak'n 80's toy! It can't be That hard!..."

Gears, "There he goes again, about not getting a reissue."

Ironhide, "Somebody get Prime..."

"Omega Supreme not cast in any Michael Bay movie! Decision, Unacceptable! Director, Incompetent!"

"Michael Bay! Your rape of the franchise ends Now!"

"...and THAT's why you wipe back to front, and Never side to side!"

We're so having a fourth season, I'll bet my virginity!

...then I called Megatron's mom a Power Strip!

...and That's how you get rid of a body!

...of course That's a Thing. I Saw it on the DEEP Web!

....and That's why you always want to use plenty of lube!

"...and that's why I wear the same dress everyday!"

"I now what the fox says"

"...and that's why you always leave a note!"

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard..."

"...then I told him; Hand's off, if you miss with the Queen Bee, you're gonna get stung."

"...and I told him; Please, you can't afford me, I'm high maintenance!"

"...and then I told the guy; if you have to ask, you can't afford it..."

Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's-It's...UNICRON!!!

Sari, "I know what boys like, I know what guys want, I know what boys like, I've got what boys want..."

Prime, " The ONE time we need Seaspray, and he's on shore leave..."

Still more air time than Hualer!

Dirge, "Back! or I'll plug you in!"

How does Soundwave has over 500 friends on Facebook!? He's an uncharismatic bore!

Fan Fiction!? Is that what Skyfire has been doing this whole time!?

"8-6-7-5-3-0-9 Ah, yes, is Jenny there? Tell her I've got her number! Ha-Ha-Ha!"

"Ah, yes, excellent! Nightbird friended me on Facebook!"

Hummm, yes, excellent! I have no idea what I'm looking at.

Sari, "...and when I told him where human babies came from, he fell over and got all grey..."

Brawn, "Fly Falcor! FLY!"

"...Never Ending Stor-ory, Aaa-Ah-Aaa-Ah-Aaa-Ah..."

Some time in 1985...
Huffer, "Hey, I heard we're finally getting a movie! Huge changes they say. I wonder if anyone's gonna die."

Brawn, "Oh shut the hell up you little whine-a-con! I've had loose timing belts that squeel less than you!"

Huffer, "I can't take it any more! I'm Dion! I'm Dion! After Alpha Trion rebuilt Ariel and Orion he didn't have enough parts to upgrade me! I'm Dion! Why won't anyone believe me?"

Trypticon, "So they replaced you with Fortress Maximus? You could always start over; get a new paint job, a new name. How about 'Metrotitan'? That has a good ring. We got cookies."

Nanosec, "Heh, I thought it was a loose cable, I didn't know that girl-bots could even... or were even built to use tam-*"
Prime, "Give it back to her!"
Nanosec, "Ok! Sorry! I thought you didn't like spiders."

Sari, "What do you mean you're stuck in the snow? You turn into an excavator with treads. Ugh, you're so lame."

Alpha Trion, "No Sentinel, your invitation to the G1 party was not lost, we never sent it. To be quite frank, you're a douchebag and we find you repellent. Even Grimlock and Wreck-Gar are more tolerable than you. Now quit calling us."

Brawn, "Tastes Great!"
Huffer, "Less Filling!"

Bumblebee, "Eeeew, look at me! I'm Prowl, and I'm a Ninja and a Motorcycle! I'm a Ninja Motorcycle! No pun here!"

Grimlock gets up in Prime's grill... literally.

Grimlock, "Is you LADY-MAN 217 ?!"
Optimus, "WHAT? I don't know what you're talking about!"
Grimlock, "Is You Lady-Man 217 ?!"
Optimus, "I'm Not A Lady!"
Grimlock, "Were Ebay 21153 ?! Where Glasses !?"
Optimus, "WHEELJACK!!!"

"We left you in charge of the Space Bridge? You can't even type!"

"So THIS is a rare FFOIjflsdo fish? What language did you type this in!? Talk about Syntax Error!"