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The Ultimate Caption Contest

Captions by Roadshadow

Roadshadow has entered the battlefield. Below are their latest captions for your viewing pleasure — or judgment. React accordingly.
Spike walks away from Hound

Hound: Hey there, young fella. You want some popsicles? I got a WHOLE freezer full of popsicles.

Ravage biting Bumblebee

Desperate for attention, Bumblebee decides to go into the "dangerous stunts business." Unfortunately, when trying to tame Ravage, he realized he had reeked of cheese.

Scorponok attacks Sgt. Epps and friends

Scorponok: Don't run away! I just want to be loved! *Sniffs*

Decepticons ... dancing?

Skywarp: He's MY Starscream! Mine!
Thundercracker: No! MINE!
Megatron: Dammit, you two, just share!
Starscream: Please Primus, just kill me now...

Spike listening to headphones

Spike: Check it! I'm gonna be a DJ someday.
Sparkplug: Pfft. Yeah right.
Brawn: *Secretly dry humps Sparkplug*

RID Optimus beating his chest

Prime: HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!

Scorponok attacks Sgt. Epps and friends

Scorponok: Tag! You're it!

The "real" Optimus Prime

That's MR. PRIME to you, motherf***er!

Bruticus blows up!!!

Onslaught, who was drunk one day, accidently shoved a ten-ton hydrogen bomb straight up his ass.

The results here are self-explanatory.

Powermaster Prime w/ Armada Megatron outside

The aftermath of a retarded one-eyed child trying to transform these two.

Galvatron about to step on Daniel

Galvatron: This is what you get for being an annoying f***!

Bruticus blows up!!!

Bruticus: Now I know how Unicron felt when his body was blown up! It hurts like a motherf***er!

Submarauder with his hand on his head

Submarauder: I'm infected with head lice!

RID Optimus beating his chest

Prime: Ook ook! I'm a monkey!
Optimus Primal (Offset): And he's a Prime HOW?

Security Guard looking for his walkman

Soundwave: Hey offficer! Push play! I said, PUSH PLAY MOTHERF***ER!

Optimus Prime talking to the kids

*Large explosion happens behind Prime*

Prime: That wasn't me, I swear!

Bumblebee at the computer

Little Bumblebee soon learned what the Internet is really for: Looking at porn.

Bumblebee at the computer

Bumblebee: Yay! I have more spam in my email!

Bumblebee at the computer

Bumblebee: Hey! Some site has a funny Transformers caption contest every Monday! What kind of idiot would do that?

Optimus Prime talking to the kids

Optimus: Magicus PRESTO! You like the smoke?
Kids: No, that was a fart.

Optimus Prime talking to the kids

Optimus: BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!
Kids:...
Optimus: Damn. Well scaring them didn't work.

Galvatron standing over Dragstrip

Galvatron: Umm...what are you doing, Dragstrip?
Dragstrip: Eating grass. Yum.
Galvatron: Where the hell is Starscream when you need his antics?

Galvatron standing over Dragstrip

Galvatron: That's what happens when you DON'T DO YOUR CHORES, BITCH!

Galvatron standing over Dragstrip

Galvatron: Dammit, wake up you lazy bum!
Dragstrip: Nnnehh..five more minutes...

Obedient, miscolored Decepticons

WEEEEEEEEEEEEE LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!

Dinobot grins ...

Everyone knows that when Dinobot grins, they know he ate another baby...

Vortex with his hands up in the air

Vortex: Momma! Momma!
Bruticus (Missing Vortex as his left arm): Dammit Vortex stop acting like a baby!

Sparkplug volunteers!

Sparkplug: And THIS is the finger that I used to pick my nose last night!
Jazz: That's it. To the crazy house with you.

Fire Convoy & Build Typhoon get close

Optimus: Uhh, Heavy Load? Why are you smiling at me that way?
Heavy Load: Oh Oppy...you're soooooo sexy...
Optimus: @_@

Devastator gets slagged!

Devastator: Quit licking my balls, dammit!

Unicron sitting on a toilet

Someone help me! I'm stuck in the toilet seat. :(

Unicron sitting on a toilet

Errrrrrrgghh...AAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!!

*plop*

Whew. Man, Lithone's a bitch to get out once digested and morphed into poo.

Baby Marissa minus her clothes

The TF cleverly disguised as Marissa's raygun: Dammit I'm not ready for babysitting yet!

When Trypticon attacks!

Trypticon: Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude...Tiny people...
Old Man: Oh sh*t that Decepticon's high!

Obedient, miscolored Decepticons

Can you hear US now? GOOD!

Obedient, miscolored Decepticons

Everyone but Soundwave (In musical tone): Hello, operator, how do you do?
Soundwave: I don't know if I'm on the right side anymore...Musical Mondays suck!

Megatron stands behind Soundwave w/ key in hand

Megatron: Hmm, insert key into slot A. I wonder...

Alien probes Ravage

Alien: Hmm...
Ravage: Get that probe out of my ass NOW!

Superion holding A3

Superion: ZOMG n00b! T3h A3 figur3z!
A3: God dammit, I'm not a ----ING TOY!

Starscream with bird droppings on his head

Ever since Starscream's character died in the movie, he had to resort to being a hobo, having bird droppings fall on his head for food.

Superion holding A3

Superion: YAY! DOLLY!
A3: Oh ----.

Blaster with foam on him

Blaster: Man, I REALLY hate sour cream.

Little kid wears Megatron costume

Kid: Durr, I like being Megatron...

Poor Johnny didn't realize that Optimus mistook him for the real Megatron...and shot the boy.

Galvatron and his new weight plan

Galvatron: Why does everyone HATE ME!? *cries*
Random Decepticon: Because you're a fatass!!!

When Trypticon attacks!

Trypticon: Dude...where am I? Wow, cool little diorama of scared humans...

Unicron sitting on a toilet

Errrrrrrgghh...AAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!!

*plop*

Whew. Man, Lithone's a bitch to get out once digested and morphed into poo.

Ratchet gets his check-up!

Ratchet: Are you gonna jam your thumb up my ass?
Ironhide:..No.

Spike with some giant eggs in a nest

Spike: Jesus! These eggs are gonna get me first prize in the "Giant Food" contest! Now all I need is Slag and a giant pan...

Little kid wears Megatron costume

Megatron: JUNIOR!?
Megatron Jr.: Hiya dad!
Megatron: Damn. I knew having sex with a female fleshbag was a BAD idea...

Alien probes Ravage

Ravage: Aaah! God it hurts my ass!

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