Captions by shockwave_inoz

Spike: 'Hey Dad - you wanna hear some DEATH METAL'?? Sparkplug: 'How about... no.' Spike: 'WHAT'??!

"That last movie was RIDICULOUS!! Bring Michael Bay to me... NOW"!!!

Prime: "Well, since we're all here - you may have just heard that Dumbledore's 'come out of the closet' as it were. So, I guess now is as good as any time to tell you - Elita 1 was a MAN and I KNEW it all along... you get my drift

Ratchet: *tickle..tickle..tickle..*
Teletran 1: "WAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!!"
Wheeljack: "Stop that! Or I'll jump on your big, red metal undies!!"
Ratchet: "You know your problem, Wheeljack? You just have no sens

Optimus: "The picture for the next Ultimate Caption Contest is over THERE! Now, get moving!!"

Potential Clubber: "Uh.. Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame-seed bun??"
Bouncer: "No, sorry - that was last weeks password. Mind you, I'm impressed you managed to say it all in less than

PRIME: "Dammit, Prowl - did you have to do my corset up so tight? Look how narrow my waist is, I can hardly breathe!!"
PROWL: "Well, I did say I would leave you breathless one day, sweety."

MAGNUS: "Well, hum ho... here we go again with this old caption contest. Why don't they get that scene of Soundwave running through what looks like a finsh line at a race??"
ARCEE: "Yeah, whatever. Just don't point that thing at

PRIME: "For the very last time - I AM NOT WEARING FLARES!! They're just - uh, big boots! OKAY??!! And anyway, YOU lot should talk! HA!!"
Other Autobots: "Okaaay..."
PROWL(muttering under his breath) "Stupid Bell-Bottoms.&qu

"Okay - OKAY! Stop shooting and we'll come quietly. But please, be gentle with us Madam Lash - it's our, uh - first time.."

GALV: "Gaw, DANG! Ah think you boys'v had enough bakonium beans already! PHEW!!"

DRAG: "It..urr..smells better from..down here..akk.."

(and so Galvatron, out of morbid curiosity, foolishly bends lower and puts his nasal rece

"Ohh, damn that was one hot curry - I feel like I'm going to..."

KABOOOOOOM!!!

other diners in unision: "cheque please!"

(What? You haven't seen 'Spaceballs'??)

FAST TRACKS (the - we assume - original!):
"Okay! Which one of you JERKWADS called me 'YELLOW'??!"
MR GREY (tenth row back, 17th across - I think): "MEEEE!!"
FAST TRACKS: "Uh... You, no I mean you, um which one of you

GRIM: "Oh, Yeah!! Me see earthling with big boots that look like my feet do this move - his name Gene Simmons... But somehow he make it look good! I know - him breath fire, too!!"
*FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH*
INFERNO: "Get the Firehouse!

DANIEL: "Wow! I just had the most amazing dream - and now all my bedsheets are stuck to me!! Can you help me...?"
RODIMUS: "Uhh, let me tell you what's on my list of 'Things To Do' today, starting with now: After what you ju

BLURR: "Prime! You're NOT gonna believe this..."
PRIME: "I know, I know... that wierdo fleshling leader, George Dubya Bush has completely flipped this time!! Oh, geez - he's enough to try even MY patience. Blurr, we are going to

Ratchet: "It's okay Wheeljack, I've had chirobotic training - geez, you're so tense, so stiff, like a statue..."
(The Real) Wheeljack: "Uh, over here Ratchet!"
Ratchet (dropping statue and straightening himself out): &

Optimus: "I bet King Kong never had to put up with this!!"
Rhinox: "You sayin' my butt's bigger than the Empire State Building?? And I thought you were my friend! *sniffle* "
Optimus: Oh, all right - I'll CLIMB your bu

Optimus: "I see you Rhinox... shakin' that ass, shakin' that ass, shakin' that ass... I see you Rhinox..."
Rhinox: "Uh, OKAY Op - I heard you the FIRST time!! Now could you PLEASE shut up before Groove Armada bust BOTH our a

Hardhead: "Yeah, the trailer park girl-bots go 'round the outside, 'round the outside, 'round the outside..."
Optimus Prime: "Will you shut the @#%*!! up??"
Eminem: "Now YOU gotta put a Shanix (Transformer currenc

Hot Rod: (singing) "I'm gonna eat you little fishie, I'm gonna eat you little fish - I'm gonna eat you little fishie, 'cos I like eating fish!!"
Daniel: "You been watching Red Dwarf again, haven't you?"
Hot

Perceptor: "High Noon, pal - DRAW!!"

Optimus Primessuggener: "Oy vey, oy vey. If you two boys don't stop that, I'll give you a potch on the tucchus!! I bet Topol never had this trouble."

Megatron: "At last... I have the key to your CHASTITY belt! Mwah hah hah hah hah!!
Soundwave: "What..?"
Megatron: "Nothing! Just stay as you are... this won't take long!!"

Unwritten Shakespeare: "When in the company of others, taketh only your due, but when alone - grabbeth what you can!"

And so Shockwave did bide his time, until the court was clear and the knave, Starscream had left.

Apologies to Mad Magazi

Shockwave: "Peek-a-boo, I can SEE you, and I KNOW what you do, peek-a-boo! Ha ha ha, yeah!"

Well, now we know that Shockwave's a DEVO fan!

Vortex: "Uh, okay... I can see you guys are just a bit upset. Well, maybe more than just a bit - more like a lot... look, can't we just talk about this??"
Entire Autobot Army: *KABOOOOOOOOOOOM*!!!!!!!!

Inferno: "Well, HELLO there little guy..." *winks*
Red Alert: "And HELLO to you, you big handsome chunk of..."
Optimus Prime: "Oh, SCRAP!! No wonder we keep losing to the Decepticons. Will you two please FOCUS??!!"
Red Ale

RATTRAP: "Oh... RATS!!"

PERCEPTOR: "Charlie Brown... BEHOLD, I am the 'Pencil Pal' you've been writing to all these years!!"

BRAWN: "Hey, Windy - what do you reckon?"
WIND: "Nah, that colour will clash with the rest of your furniture."
BRAWN: "Huh, you're probably right. AND it's uncomfortable... Okay, I'll take it back to IKEA and get

TAXIIIII!!

Razorclaw: 'No, it wasn't for what you actually did, it's for something I think I thought you did, I think...uh, hang on."
Grimlock: "Wait, so this like that little bit of paper on wall you read closeup says 'Please note: If

Sling: "Ha! Decepticons, I challenge you!"
Megatron: "Oh, you are so dead, little robot."
Sling: "Oh, yeah? You can't touch what you can't afford! HA!!"
Megs: "Er, Soundwave - what's our insurance polic

Red Alert: "Where are you taking me?"
Inferno: "Wouldn't you like to know...heh, heh."
Red Alert: *thinking* "Hm, this reminds me of those movies Buster was showing me the other day where the they... Uh, oh."
Inferno:

Perceptor: "BWAAAH!! AAAAARRRGH!!! DAMN!!! @#%$* SON OF A..."
Wheeljack: "Hey, HEY - what's up?"
Perceptor: "I just lost an eBay auction by 50 cents!! BLAST!!
Blaster (in background somewhere): "What?"
Perceptor

PRIME: "Hey, Primal - I think my nuts have come loose... have you got a MONKEY wrench I can borrow to tighten them up with??"
PRIMAL: "Grrrrrr..."
PRIME: "You don't growl at me - eat exhaust pipes!" *vrrrroooooommmmmmm

PRIME: "Now, Megatron we are more than a match for you! Together we shall defeat you!!"
MEGS: *snort..chuckle* "Indeed, Prime..Primal..You two will cause me to DIE LAUGHING!! MWAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH...MWAH HAH HAH...MWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Simon: "And here come the next contestants for CYBERTRONIAN IDOL! Hm, looks like the competion is gonna be a little STIFF tonight!! HA!!!

Randy: "With jokes like THAT, you gonna BE one of them, sucka."

"Okay, you scumbags aren't taking us seriously are you? We said absolutely NO MORE ARMARDA!!! You have 2 seconds to comply!! AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGHHHH!!!!!"

TRANS-ORG: "OOF! Ow, HEY what the... aw, geez, an INFINITY of space out there, and you YOU clumsy idiots go crashing into MY 478 square-meters of it!! MORONS!!!"
QUINT 1: "Hey, he's a fiesty one - can we keep him?!"
QUINT 2: &qu

OPT PRIME: "Yeeee-Haaaa!! So THIS is what it's like to be in the MILE HIGH CLUB!!!"
S-SHOT: "Hey HEY! No funny business, okay Prime?!"
OPT PRIME: "Okaaaaaay...Heh, heh, heh..."
S-SHOT: "What? I didn't quite

"This has got to be the biggest bottle of port I've ever seen! I'm gonna be GROOVIN' tonight. Now all I need is somethig to play my Britney Spears tape and I'll be REALLY happy. Hey, what luck - a portable cassette player...
SOUN

ARCEE: "Magnus... I'm ready RIGHT NOW! C'mon - let's DO IT!!"
MAGNUS: "But I'm.. I'm just a soldier - I'm not worthy... "
ARCEE: "Huh, no kidding MORON! Now you've put me right off. Where&#039

KREM: "Okaaaaay. Who's the JERK that threw THIS?!" All Decepticons point at Starscream, who was just idly staring at the ground, minding his own business for once. STARSCREAM: "Huh?" KREM: "You! Screamer! I'm gonna chang

RATCH: "It was YOU, wasn't it...you swapped my red crest for a black one! You have exactly 5 seconds to hand it over..."
(To the blind: that chevron-shaped thing on his head!)

OPTIMUS: "I want a volunteer to.."
SPARK (interrupting): "I'll do it, Op!"
OPTIMUS: "...clean out Grimlock's litter tray. Thankyou, Sparkplug."
SPARK: "D'OH!!"
JAZZ: "You're on your own

Actually, behind the scenes in the making of 'Beast Wars' the CGI teams computer crashed 372 times before they got this scene right...

RUMBLE: "Pleeeeeease put that chainsaw away - I promise I'll never EVER play Britney Spears again!!"

GALV: "Okay, NOW do you two fools SEE my G-STRING??!"
CYC and SOUND: "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGH!!!"
GALV: "I'll take that as a yes, then."