Captions by Swoopscream

And you did WHAT with my wang?

Scrapper- HEY MA! I MADE LOVE TO THE HOGS TO MAKE YOU PROUD!

Sari- "You have totally rewritten my concept of ethical."

But Cindy, my olfactory sensors found dead THIS in your pants... Uhhhh.... OH! Ewwww....

which way Deceptecon? DE-CEP-TAH-CONNNN!!!!

Dad, can we listen to the tape of you and mom making me ONE MORE TIME?

"Damn, Soundwave, you becoming Jewish does kick ass! HAVA NAGILA!"

Lower, Ravage, LOWER.

"Mom, could you have at least put on panties today?"

Just gimme ONE reason, Spike, and I will blow you to goddam kingdom come!

Have I found the G-spot?

Soundwave, these are not how mancaves work.

Ha! The guys at the Maharishi get together will be psyched! Level 3 here I come!

Ratchet just couldn't live unless he had rigged up stole Skinnemax.

You know whenever it's an Autobot down they're all like "HEY SKYFIRE COME CARRY HIM... HEY SKYFIRE COME FLY HIM ACROSS THE F***ING WORLD" but do you think I'm gonna be thanked for this s***? NO!

OPTIMUS! THIS IS NOT HOW IT LOOKS! I LOST A CONTACT!

Psst- Optimus... your pinky. *Whisper* NOT NOW.

BABY RUTH?!?

Dude... you need to take Simon and Garfunkel WAAAAY less seriously, Megatron. It's called a METAPHOR, moron!

They **** with Optimus' parts and THIS is the best they can come up with?

Go ahead. DARE me to be STUPID, punk.

When a man and a woman love eachother VEEERY MUCH...

There is absolutely no chance of me scorin' crack on a children's TV show! AGH!!!!! IMA SUICIDE!

Seriously, Optimus, there are laws against this. No... no.... like the FEDs are TAPPING your COMPUTER serious.

And to this day when the wind blows... if you listen REAL closely... you can hear... Soundwave using Rumble as a sex toy.

See? He's got streaks in his underoos!

This is the last time I go to THAT optometrist.

Oh my Primus, 'Jack, you had it all on film? ...Wait, WHAT TAPE DID SOUNDWAVE STEAL?!? YOU TOLD ME IT WAS OFF! WHY DID YOU ACTUALLY RECORD!?!

Seriously, Sari... you're like a little Indian chocolate right now. Om-num.

I was there in 'Nam and none of you was there, man! NONE OF YOU! You weren't there then and you're not gonna help me now!

*Ugh*... Sorry, Carly. I forgot to tell you. Yeah. I didn't forget.

Yeah... that robo-school girl look really works for you, Ratchet. We should make a calendar.

Side Burn, I really think we need to see a counselor. Seriously, when we have to go through this EVERY time...

YOU DON'T HAVE ONE F***ING TAMPON ON CYBERTRON?!?

*Zip*

Wake me UP! Before you gogo! Don't leave me here flyin' solo! CHOOSE LIFE!

I still strike fear in human hearts, right? RIGHT? BOO! HAHA! I bet you fear me now... hello? Are you still back there? DAMN! Turn my head then cower! PLEASE... I need you to fear meeeeee!!!

This is the worst talking heads concert I have ever been to!

Hey, man. Chicks dig dudes who spend all day with big... plump... corn... cobs... okay, I see what you're saying.

SALLY COME BACK! REMEMBER THAT NIGHT AFTER I PLAYED AT THE BAR! I WAS YOUR ROCKSTAR!

Okay. Nobody's looking. Now open your mouth and close your eyes and in will come a BIG surprise!

you sure you don't want to call your doctor about this? I don't mean to embarrass you or anything, but this happens to a lot of bots.

Alright, alright. Now add 5, divide by 3 and multiply by 20... and the first number you are thinking of is... DAMN. I'm a sucky mentalist. I WILL DOMINATE YOU ALL!

So Cybertronian drugs make you feel like sticking your... uh... THING in a light socket... right?

To this day, the Predacons had not addressed their vehicle envy. Not even when Steve went over the edge and was found by the police blitzed out of his mind and "Rolling Out".

Grimlock tell Prime he like it with lights off! Why Prime no listen?

That's it, and he felt every millimeter of it RIGHT HERE. Then he asked for more.

Every time I use this thing... All I see is my dead mother saying I'm not good enough. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten it from the back of the comic book. Yeah... Mom told me that one, too.

Prowl had sworn to never get caught doing THAT again. The only honorable thing to do would be hari-kari. As soon as he was able to stand up.

Hey man... are you sure this is a dino hug? Did you happen to learn this in dino prison?

Me Grimlock teach you for pulling over and give money to freeloaders. Me Grimlock is Republican.