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The Ultimate Caption Contest

Captions by DeltaSilver88

DeltaSilver88 has entered the battlefield. Below are their latest captions for your viewing pleasure — or judgment. React accordingly.
Optimus Prime on his deathbed

Ultra Magnus: *is passed the Matrix of Leadership* Er, Optimus, you do know this is just battle armor and my real body is too small to have a chest cavity for this?

The Decepticons at their finest

Apparently Transformers are lactose intolerant and can get constipated... who knew?

Red Alert pulling on Prime's arm

Red Alert: Help, help, there's a giant teddy bear chasing me!
Optimus: Please tell me you weren't putting out California forest fires again? You know those forests are full of weed!

Megatron points at his head

Megatron: Guess what I have in there? Br-
Optimus: Sawdust?
Megatron: ...Yes, I believe I'll tear you a new exhaust port.

Wheelie points gun at Kup

Kup: Who gave the whippersnapper a gun?!
Wheelie: Dada!
Kup: Hexagonal nuts, Blurr...

Megatron w/ Sunstreaker & Sideswipe

Sideswipe: Hey, there really is a pot of gold under his feet! I think Laserbreath's a leprechaun!

Shockwave rides Starscream

Hi-ho, Silver, awaaaaay!

Dirge & Thrust dance (BW Neo)

Dirge: Hubba hubba zoot zoot!
Thrust: Deba uba zat zat a-num num!

Optimus Prime talking to the kids

Optimus: Hold your... water? There's nothing actually on fire here, the fat kid just burned his steak on the barbeque grill!

Grimlock eats a car

Metal tasty... but need wine and fava beans.

Grimlock eats a car

That teach Tracks to call Grimlock dino-breath.

Megatron covets the exponential generator

This dinosaur egg is taking ages to hatch... how did that Hammond guy do it so fast?

Trypticon and Metroplex share a moment

Yeah, your shoulders are a little stiff... a few squeezes here and there and they should be good as new!

Omega Supreme stands before Autobots

Omega Supreme: big. Autobots: tiny. Conclusion: ...kill Sideswipe for recommending Gulliver's Travels.

Sentinel Prime looks over Jazz

Jazz: Your chin is impressive, sir, but I believe there may be a bomb in there. You should get that checked.

Autobots raising their hands

Orange: It's a-me, grumpy Mario.

Dr Arkeville becomes a cyborg

Yes, that is a poodle in my ear. Why?

Brawn holds on to Soundwave

Hi ho, Silver, awaaaaay!

Optimus Prime pointing

Optimus: ...Prowl.
Prowl: Yes?
Optimus: Did you mean to blow up the Ark?
Prowl: ...Oh. Well, slag. I got the wrong remote.

Optimus Prime pointing

Optimus: Ratchet... do my optics deceive me, or is that Omega Supreme pole-dancing with the twins.
Ratchet: ...It is. And I smell work coming my way in one, two, thr-
Optimus: Omega just sat on Sunstreaker.

Rumble goes for a drive in Dragstrip

Now move, Dragstrip, before I tear you a new steering wheel!

Megatron in a puff of smoke

Megatron finally met his end at the jaws of robo-locusts.

Megatron checks out Breakdown's trunk

...Soundwave, make a note. We will not keep dead human bodies in our trunks in the future since they keep getting stuck to the carpet.

Megatron plays with his remote control

Megatron: Now then, this should help me listen in on the humans' military radios...
Radio: EEEAAOOOEAAA! *sszzrkk* WHERE'S MY GYRO, AAAAAA! SURPRISE SURPRISE!
Megatron: ...What.

Omega Supreme and the green screen

Omega: Slag it, guys, stop shooting missiles at me to test my armor! I'm not invulnerable like the mistletoe guy!

Seaspray and Bumblebee converse

Bumblebee: You shoulda seen the cyberfish Optimus caught last time, it was this big!
Seaspray: Bigger than you? Yeah, that's pretty big.

Slave workers working

Megatron: Now then, once they've torn that pyramid down, the weapon of mass destruction inside will be MINE. Har har har!
Starscream: You mean ours...
Megatron: Shut up, Starscream.

Perceptor talking to Bumblebee and Seaspray while working on the computer

*we can't have him tear Teletraan apart looking for bugs again, it took us five months to fix the damage.

Perceptor talking to Bumblebee and Seaspray while working on the computer

Perceptor: ...And this, kids, is how you fix a broken fax machine!
Seaspray: Why is there a fax machine on the Ark anyway?
Percetor: Well, Red Alert insisted we get a communication line that can't be hacked... we can't have him tear Teletraan apart look

Starscream visits Colorado

Astrotrain had decided to hit Taco Bell the previous day. Starscream's sewer clean-up duty was about to get a whole lot more interesting...

Football player versus Blitzwing

Human: Time to make like the Finns! *shoves football inside Blitzwing's turret*
Blitwing: Take thi- *turret blows up* PRIMUS' SMELLY FEET, I CAN'T SEE!

Meanwhile, back on Cybertron ...

Yellow: Uh, why is Optimus climbing the Iacon Tower and making monkey noises?
Background: Movie night. Watched King Kong, plus he's drunk as a cyberfish.

Cade Yeager and Sir Edmund Burton discuss things with Cogman and Burton's dog

"Do you see that large robot over there in the distance? I ate its liver with fava beans."
"...Robots don't have livers?"
"Oh yes they do. Made of iron, so it's a little tough on the teeth though."

Kids walking through damaged Football Stadium

"Isn't that cannon pointing straight at us?"
"Come on, that's why it's cool to walk through it!"
"...Why do I follow you guys again?"

Unknown Transformer in The Last Knight

So, I scanned a movie called "Avengers"... now I look like Thanos. Greatest mistake I ever made. Now Iron Man is after me.

Bruticus blows up!!!

Onslaught: "No, Swindle! I told you to..."
SHRAKABOOOOOOOOM
"...Take.. your... stuff someplace... else... ZORK...KZZZIIIiiiIIIRRRRrrrr" *stasis lock*

Submarauder with his hand on his head

Submarauder: "Um.. Skullgrin?"
Skullgrin: "...Yeah?"
Submarauder: "You're not gonna like this... but I kinda forgot to disarm the bomb inside the headquarters and..."
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
Skullgrin: "...I can s

Hardhead using a microphone

Hardhead: "Gawain sa bukid sadyang hindi biro
Kaya nga pakinggan, aking ituturo
Ang awil at sayaw nitong magsasaka
Sa aki'y sumabay - kung kayo'y handa!"

TF Kids: "Handa na kami, kuya Bodgie!"
-------------------------

Obedient, miscolored Decepticons

Green Cons: "Hail Galvatron!"
Third Con: "Hail Galvatron!"
Soundwave: "Hail Galvatron!"
Octane: "...AACHOOOO!"

Optimus Prime talking to the kids

Optimus: "The Allspark, Vector Sigma, was to choose the next commander-in-chief of Cybertron. Though both of us had won fame during the Civil Wars, I was chosen as leader. And so the Matrix was given to me. Ultra Magnus left the planet that same day

Unicron sitting on a toilet

"I swear I will never eat refried beans again..."

Leozack & Hellbat tell secrets ...

Hellbat: You know what I saw just a minute ago?
Leozak: What?
Hellbat: Jaruga... in the closet... doing nudge nudge wink wink with your sister.
Leozak: WHAT! *opens closet and gets a punching glove in the face* WOAH!
Hellbat, Gaihawk, Jaruga: Hehehe..

Ratchet w/ gun

Ratchet *in a Russian accent*: "Let me introduce myself... Covert Agent Ratchet of the Autobot Secret Police."

Rumble&Frenzy: "GULP."

Soundwave *thinking*: "So that's why he was able to execute that ninja kick on Th

C3P0 and R2D2 on escalator w/ Braver in "Victory"

Braver (A.K.A. Lightspeed): Nice to know that we can see the Aurora Borealis in here, too. *starts a tech lecture and pauses to look at 3PO and R2... rubs his optics* Did I just see what I think I saw?
Jan *eyes bugging out*: Yeah... what the hell are th

Optimus laying down on the job

Primal: WOOOOOAAAHHHH! *SPLAT*
Rhinox: HEY! Why the hell did you drop outta the sky like that?
Cheetor: He's trying to act out the scene from 'Band of Brothers'. See? He's gettin' up... The line!
Primal: To hell with that!

Arcee and Magnus standing next to a face-planted Galvatron

UM: Uh... Arcee?
Arcee: Yeah?
UM: What the hell's Springer doing in a Galvatron suit lying on the floor like that?
Arcee: He thinks it's Halloween and Blurr thought he was the real one and blasted him.
UM: ....Ouch.

Optimus riding on Slingshot

Slingshot *thinking*: OK, this is the last time I let Prime to practice Jet Judo on me...
Prime: ....Now what the hell did Sideswipe do the last time..? Oh YEAH! *tightens grip*
Slingshot: HURK! *pass out*
Prime: ....Oops.

Blaster tries to tell Kup something

Blaster: Kup, Soundwave is coming! Get outta here, I got a bomb inside my chest. Ya know, Eject leaps outta there and throws the bomb on Wave and his pals. Eject, eject! HEY! Where the hell... Oh no. *BOOOOOOOOOOOM*

Kup: Woah, now that was a bomb. Blas

Aerialbots sitting on some rocks

Skydive: Nice view.... HEY! Where the heck are Silverbolt and Slingshot?

Air Raid: Uh... Fireflight crashed into them.

Fireflight: Ow... my aching head... *Sky and Raid look at him* .....What?

Air Raid: YO, BOLT, SLING! GUYS OKAY!?

Silverbolt

Aerialbots sitting on some rocks

Skydive: Jai guru deva... om....
Air Raid: Groan...
Fireflight: Crimony...

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