Captions by DeltaSilver88

Ultra Magnus: *is passed the Matrix of Leadership* Er, Optimus, you do know this is just battle armor and my real body is too small to have a chest cavity for this?

Apparently Transformers are lactose intolerant and can get constipated... who knew?

Red Alert: Help, help, there's a giant teddy bear chasing me!
Optimus: Please tell me you weren't putting out California forest fires again? You know those forests are full of weed!

Megatron: Guess what I have in there? Br-
Optimus: Sawdust?
Megatron: ...Yes, I believe I'll tear you a new exhaust port.

Kup: Who gave the whippersnapper a gun?!
Wheelie: Dada!
Kup: Hexagonal nuts, Blurr...

Sideswipe: Hey, there really is a pot of gold under his feet! I think Laserbreath's a leprechaun!

Hi-ho, Silver, awaaaaay!

Dirge: Hubba hubba zoot zoot!
Thrust: Deba uba zat zat a-num num!

Optimus: Hold your... water? There's nothing actually on fire here, the fat kid just burned his steak on the barbeque grill!

Metal tasty... but need wine and fava beans.

That teach Tracks to call Grimlock dino-breath.

This dinosaur egg is taking ages to hatch... how did that Hammond guy do it so fast?

Yeah, your shoulders are a little stiff... a few squeezes here and there and they should be good as new!

Omega Supreme: big. Autobots: tiny. Conclusion: ...kill Sideswipe for recommending Gulliver's Travels.

Jazz: Your chin is impressive, sir, but I believe there may be a bomb in there. You should get that checked.

Orange: It's a-me, grumpy Mario.

Yes, that is a poodle in my ear. Why?

Hi ho, Silver, awaaaaay!

Optimus: ...Prowl.
Prowl: Yes?
Optimus: Did you mean to blow up the Ark?
Prowl: ...Oh. Well, slag. I got the wrong remote.

Optimus: Ratchet... do my optics deceive me, or is that Omega Supreme pole-dancing with the twins.
Ratchet: ...It is. And I smell work coming my way in one, two, thr-
Optimus: Omega just sat on Sunstreaker.

Now move, Dragstrip, before I tear you a new steering wheel!

Megatron finally met his end at the jaws of robo-locusts.

...Soundwave, make a note. We will not keep dead human bodies in our trunks in the future since they keep getting stuck to the carpet.

Megatron: Now then, this should help me listen in on the humans' military radios...
Radio: EEEAAOOOEAAA! *sszzrkk* WHERE'S MY GYRO, AAAAAA! SURPRISE SURPRISE!
Megatron: ...What.

Omega: Slag it, guys, stop shooting missiles at me to test my armor! I'm not invulnerable like the mistletoe guy!

Bumblebee: You shoulda seen the cyberfish Optimus caught last time, it was this big!
Seaspray: Bigger than you? Yeah, that's pretty big.

Megatron: Now then, once they've torn that pyramid down, the weapon of mass destruction inside will be MINE. Har har har!
Starscream: You mean ours...
Megatron: Shut up, Starscream.

*we can't have him tear Teletraan apart looking for bugs again, it took us five months to fix the damage.

Perceptor: ...And this, kids, is how you fix a broken fax machine!
Seaspray: Why is there a fax machine on the Ark anyway?
Percetor: Well, Red Alert insisted we get a communication line that can't be hacked... we can't have him tear Teletraan apart look

Astrotrain had decided to hit Taco Bell the previous day. Starscream's sewer clean-up duty was about to get a whole lot more interesting...

Human: Time to make like the Finns! *shoves football inside Blitzwing's turret*
Blitwing: Take thi- *turret blows up* PRIMUS' SMELLY FEET, I CAN'T SEE!

Yellow: Uh, why is Optimus climbing the Iacon Tower and making monkey noises?
Background: Movie night. Watched King Kong, plus he's drunk as a cyberfish.

"Do you see that large robot over there in the distance? I ate its liver with fava beans."
"...Robots don't have livers?"
"Oh yes they do. Made of iron, so it's a little tough on the teeth though."

"Isn't that cannon pointing straight at us?"
"Come on, that's why it's cool to walk through it!"
"...Why do I follow you guys again?"

So, I scanned a movie called "Avengers"... now I look like Thanos. Greatest mistake I ever made. Now Iron Man is after me.

Onslaught: "No, Swindle! I told you to..."
SHRAKABOOOOOOOOM
"...Take.. your... stuff someplace... else... ZORK...KZZZIIIiiiIIIRRRRrrrr" *stasis lock*

Submarauder: "Um.. Skullgrin?"
Skullgrin: "...Yeah?"
Submarauder: "You're not gonna like this... but I kinda forgot to disarm the bomb inside the headquarters and..."
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
Skullgrin: "...I can s

Hardhead: "Gawain sa bukid sadyang hindi biro
Kaya nga pakinggan, aking ituturo
Ang awil at sayaw nitong magsasaka
Sa aki'y sumabay - kung kayo'y handa!"

TF Kids: "Handa na kami, kuya Bodgie!"
-------------------------

Green Cons: "Hail Galvatron!"
Third Con: "Hail Galvatron!"
Soundwave: "Hail Galvatron!"
Octane: "...AACHOOOO!"

Optimus: "The Allspark, Vector Sigma, was to choose the next commander-in-chief of Cybertron. Though both of us had won fame during the Civil Wars, I was chosen as leader. And so the Matrix was given to me. Ultra Magnus left the planet that same day

"I swear I will never eat refried beans again..."

Hellbat: You know what I saw just a minute ago?
Leozak: What?
Hellbat: Jaruga... in the closet... doing nudge nudge wink wink with your sister.
Leozak: WHAT! *opens closet and gets a punching glove in the face* WOAH!
Hellbat, Gaihawk, Jaruga: Hehehe..

Ratchet *in a Russian accent*: "Let me introduce myself... Covert Agent Ratchet of the Autobot Secret Police."

Rumble&Frenzy: "GULP."

Soundwave *thinking*: "So that's why he was able to execute that ninja kick on Th

Braver (A.K.A. Lightspeed): Nice to know that we can see the Aurora Borealis in here, too. *starts a tech lecture and pauses to look at 3PO and R2... rubs his optics* Did I just see what I think I saw?
Jan *eyes bugging out*: Yeah... what the hell are th

Primal: WOOOOOAAAHHHH! *SPLAT*
Rhinox: HEY! Why the hell did you drop outta the sky like that?
Cheetor: He's trying to act out the scene from 'Band of Brothers'. See? He's gettin' up... The line!
Primal: To hell with that!

UM: Uh... Arcee?
Arcee: Yeah?
UM: What the hell's Springer doing in a Galvatron suit lying on the floor like that?
Arcee: He thinks it's Halloween and Blurr thought he was the real one and blasted him.
UM: ....Ouch.

Slingshot *thinking*: OK, this is the last time I let Prime to practice Jet Judo on me...
Prime: ....Now what the hell did Sideswipe do the last time..? Oh YEAH! *tightens grip*
Slingshot: HURK! *pass out*
Prime: ....Oops.

Blaster: Kup, Soundwave is coming! Get outta here, I got a bomb inside my chest. Ya know, Eject leaps outta there and throws the bomb on Wave and his pals. Eject, eject! HEY! Where the hell... Oh no. *BOOOOOOOOOOOM*

Kup: Woah, now that was a bomb. Blas

Skydive: Nice view.... HEY! Where the heck are Silverbolt and Slingshot?

Air Raid: Uh... Fireflight crashed into them.

Fireflight: Ow... my aching head... *Sky and Raid look at him* .....What?

Air Raid: YO, BOLT, SLING! GUYS OKAY!?

Silverbolt

Skydive: Jai guru deva... om....
Air Raid: Groan...
Fireflight: Crimony...