The Ultimate Caption Contest
Captions by Suzuki
SPRINGER(whispering): I play with my toys in the toilet . . .
RAZORCLAW: . . . Why are you telling me this?
Cue the "Night at the Roxbury" theme!
"What is love?!
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me... no more"
MEGATRON: Bilbo Baggins, we have come for the One Ring!
THUNDERCRACKER: Um, sir? Are you sure he even has it? I mean you only read the first book, and they were made over fifty Earth years-
MEGATRON: Quiet you fool! I know what I'm doing!
When the vote for the new law mandating the de-toothing of vicious dog breeds came up, there was oddly enough a suggestion from an anonymous source, asking to extend the law to "vicious robot panthers" as well.
YO-JOE!!!... Oh snap...
THUNDERCRACKER(offscreen): Gee, those "Altoids" ARE cuiously strong!
On Ebay: One-to-One scale G1 Optimus Prime, semi-mint condition, opening bid $1,000,000,000.00 No Decepticons please. Not intended for recreational use.
ELITA-1(reading that last line): Darnit!
MEGATRON: I wish I could qu-
PRIME: I told you, NO MORE "Brokeback Mountain" refrences!
"Ah man, they took the picture down already?! Now how am I going to figure out what I look like in the new movie!?"
GALVATRON: And now Dead End, after seeing what "Ooggoo" is, do you choose death, or "Ooggoo"?
DEAD END(Off screen): ...Death.
GALVATRON: Fine then! I sentance you to death by "Ooggoo"!
(NOTE: If you know the jok
SUPERION: ... (Pulls little ring on a string, on A3's back.)
A3: 'Till all are one!
SUPERION: ... (Pulls the string again.)
A3: My alt-mode is a Mercadies!
SUPERION: ... (Pulls string a third time.)
A3: Look, I'm reall
MAN: Oh no! Scarface has found us!
TRYPTICON: Damnit! I'm in the wrong show again!
(This is a "Land of the Lost" reference, just to let you know.)
Moments later, dozens of Autobot Micromasters were seen flying out toward him, carrying sticks, and happily chanting "Get the candy! Get the candy!"
"Hey, Galvatron! Do you STILL want Cybertron's moons?!..."
*singing* One of these things is not like the others!
One of these things just isn't the same!
If you guess which is not like the others,
Then you've played our game!
"I'M TRAPPED IN AN INVISIBLE BOX!!!!!"
OPTIMUS: Ha! And Elita said I'd never get ahead in this world!
("ahead" = "a head", Get it? Ha-ha! *dodges tomatos*)
PERCEPTOR: I smite thee, with my pencil!
BLUESTREAK: ... I don't think you quite get the concept of "Dungeons & Dragons", Perceptor old buddy ...
Look at what's happened to meeeee!
I can't believe it myself!
Suddenly I'm up on top of the world,
It should've been somebody else!
Believe it or not, I'm walking on air,
I never thought I could feel so freeeeee!
Flying aw
Dragstrip's compulsion to be the fastest tragically backfires on him during a water-skiing session, when after succeeding in going faster than the boat pulling him, he crashed straight into the pier.
"Hey, where cream filling?!"
Due to budget cuts, the next Botcon will only have two staff members on security detail...
OPTIMUS: Dinobot, I don't think you have enough of a positive attitude to remain in your position.
DINOBOT: Don't have enough of a positive attitude?!
OPTIMUS: Yes. Not once do I ever recall seeing you smile.
DINOBOT: That's not tru
Yet another "Weekend At Bernie's" skit gone wrong, in Transformers.
RUMBLE(chanting): Ring around the col-lar! Ring around the col-lar!
PRECEPTOR: Aaah! Evil! EVIL!
(NOTE: The joke is from a MAD Magizine parody of "The Exorcist".)
MEGATRON(off screen): You idiot! When I said to lend Starscream a "hand", I meant for you to help him fight the Autobots!
DEVASTATOR: Oops...
SLINGSHOT: With the new Quadruple-Changer technology, I can change from a robot, to a plane, to an older style car, and into a gas BBQ grill!
SILVERBOLT: That's great and all, but I still say you look like the back end of a penny...
SLINGSHOT: A
"Look, if you don't know the way out of here, just tell me!"
DIRECTOR: Okay, time for the scene where Optimus gets fatally shot by Megatron! Bring in the "double"!
STARSCREAM(Daffy Duck): D-d-double?!?
GIANT: Okay, now once and for all I'm going to find out if you really DO look like a white Optimus Prime or not!
ULTRA MAGNUS(meekly): mother...
"Look, just ask that guy over there! I'm sure he knows where it is!" "I told you already, I know where we are going! Just let me drive in peace!" "Are we there yet?"
Look! A drag race! (Cue rimshot, and booing from the audience.)
Little known vacation photo, of the Decepticons at the Faimily Fun Center.
Tonight on "Prime Time", Prime needs to get a big monkey off his back, when Primal goes bananas over a Decepticon-run Soapbox-Car Race!
OPTIMUS: Remind me to upgrade our air-travel plans to at least "Business Class", from now on.
Always remember this; the Pretenders could have been a LOT worse...
When prototypes attack!
After the incident involving Bumblebee and the helium tanks, steps were taken to prevent future mishaps.
It was at that point that Wheeljack and Bumblebee realized that the Armada toys DID have more articulation than the G1s, along with more pratical accessories . . .
RUMBLE: Okay, a little more to the left . . . A little more . . .
STARSCREAM: Would you just pick a spot already; I've got plans for this evening!!
SOUNDWAVE(Jackie Chan, from "Jackie Chan Adventures"): Bad day! Bad day!! Bad day!!!
You see, when a monster and an interplanetary space craft love each other very much . . .
UltraM: He's not dead, he's just resting.
Arcee: This is an EX-G1 Galvatron!!
We now take you live, to the GOP convention!
Hmmm . . . A violin, a near-mint G1 Soundwave, and a box of underpants; what could it mean?
BOMB-BURST: Phweeew! Nasty!!
SKULLGRIN: Must you do THAT here and now?!
SUBMARAUDER: No, it's the SHELL'S smell! I didn't do that!
Okay, I realize you're upset about how fat your new Energon form makes you look, but you can't stay locked up in your G1 alternate mode all day!
Okay, which of you installed Windows on this thing? Do you have any idea how long it's going to take to clean up the hard drive now?!
OMEGA SUPRIME: Um, are my optics malfunctioning, or has this EnergonNog made us candy colored? . . . Mmmm, candy . . . .
BUMBLEBEE: Uh, Omega ol' buddy? Why are you looking at us like that . . . and drooling?
'Tis but a flesh wound!
