Captions by Heckfire

"WAAAAAAAAAAALLL-EEEEEEEE..."

"Wow, there is ugly, and then there's Bayformer ugly, I tellya. I mean, I scare small children just by existing."

"...and yet, the fandom STILL prefers me to Miko Nakadai. Ain't THAT a kick in the gearbox?"

See, when a payloader loves a tank/jet very much, they do a special type of hug...

"HEYA, folks! I get WAY cooler in 2012!"

...uh, coach? I don't think that's what they mean by "going for a long bomb."

"...wow. They DO have the best crystal meth out here."

"...wait...there's an ELECTRICAL CORD in an INCAN TEMPLE?! They WERE more advanced than we thought!"
"Oh, yeah? Then why is it a female socket?"
"..."
"Really advanced there."
"...shut up, Autobot scum."

"WHOA...so THAT'S what Sari was talking to Optimus about? Quick, gimme a credit card number..!"

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE..!"

"GEDDOFFAME, YOU GLITCHBRAIN!"

"HEY! Brawn, what are you and Soundwave doing over there?"

"Wow...we're still here, huh?"
"SCENE: UNCHANGING. REASONS: UNKNOWN."
"If I'd known we'd be the last 'Caption Contest' pic, I'd have brought some cards or something. Hey, can you tune in some music or something?"
"PREFERENCES: HEAVY METAL."
"Sweet. Cr

"TOLD YA I WASN'T DEAD!"

"ERROR! ERROR! Declaration: GET HIM OFF ME!"

SARI: ...wow, he took that "how babies are made" thing way worse than I did when I found out.

"I once caught a fish DIS big, an' den it ate Dirt Boss an'...um...why ain't you lookin' at my hands, girly? My cargo hatch open ag'in?"

OPTIMUS: YEE, cold...

SARI: Whoa. So THAT'S where the trailer goes...ew.

"Why did my voice change after Octane went to Carbombia?"

"QUERY: DO YOU ALL REMEMBER THE SCENE FROM THE MOVIE WITH BUMBLEBEE AND AGENT SIMMONS?"

*unzips*

Kiss me, you fool.

Yes, it is scientifically proven, Sentinel: you are a jackass.

GRIMLOCK: Mmmm, crunchy on outside, chewy center...

DRIVER: OH GOD, HELP ME!

Wow, you Metroplex have lots of tension back here. Luckily me Trypticon licensed massage therapist.

Urge to kill...RISING...

Nnnnooooo, Prime...Furman like me, GRIMLOCK, best!

"HA! So THAT'S what he said you smel-"

"Shut it or I rewrite your shell program into a coffee maker."

"...shutting up now, ma'am."

"IT'S MY LIIIIIFE..!"

Eeeyeah...20 creds, same as in town. 30 for both o'yas.

My head is so huge, IT IS BENDING THE ENTIRE TV CONSOLE! OBEY ME!

ELO: superior. Operation: "Mr. Blue Sky" in every commercial...proceed.

Yew shore gawt a purdy mouth, Bumblebee.

STOP! Hammer-Time!

GAH! IRONHIDE, POWERLINX DOESN'T WORK FOR G1 AUTOBOTS! AND CERTAINLY NOT LIKE THAT!

So...my son becomes Arcee's head? Riiiiight...

"DANCE FOR ME, you winged yaoi-bait, you..."

"So, uh, did you remember to give the Dinobots brains, or was that my job..?

"...sweet Primus, the carnage..."

The Iacon Ballet Company's performance of "Tron Lake" is met with rave reviews.

The common reaction of G1 fans to "Kiss Players."

"...and THAT'S how they make the tiny humans. No joke!"

"Primus, that's DISGUSTING!"

"Yeah, uhm, disgusting..." >.>

...uh, Prime? I don't think that "make tiny humans" thing is gonna work with a Transformer instead.

"You know what, Rattrap? I like you. You're not like the other people, here in the trailer park. Oh no, don't get me wrong, they're good, fine mechanoids. But they don't know what the Preds are doing
to the soil."

BARBECUE! EXTREEEEME!

"...ooo, '7 Ways To Please Your Man In Bed Tonight.' Saucy."

Unfortunately, Optimus would discover that 'Titantron" was NOT the name of the new Decepticon leader.

SCOURGE: "I am THE most badass decepticon ever, an EVIL Optimus Prime. So, what cartoon am I gonna be in again.."
MEGA-OCTANE: "Um...'Robots in Disguise,' sir. The 'funny' one."
SCOURGE: *facepalm*

"It's rainin' men...hallelujah, it's rainin' meeenn..."

"Hey, Michael? It's your cousin, Marvin Bay. remember that movie franchise you wanted to start? Have I got an idea for YOU..."

GIVE.
ME.
YOUR.
FAAAACE.

KUP: "This reminds me of that long shore leave I took back on Lacazha-4..."
ARCEE: "I'm right here and he wants BLURR..?"

"OK, Minerva, Imma let you finish, but Arcee was a WAY better Headmaster than you."

BLACKARAHCNIA (offscreen): "...OK, screw this, I'm going back to Tarantulas."