Captions by Rainmaker

I'm new but it looks like I'm already dead

PELVIC THRUST OF VIOLATION!

I finally went to Specsavers!

Optimus Prime: MICHAEL BAY MADE ME TAKE FACES?

Superion: Uhm, Menasor I think we have some layering problems
(look around under Superion's crotch)

Optimus: I CAN FEEL IT IN THE GROUND
Ratchet: You need help

Kup: Come get your Energon Sticks! Includes Energon, *lists more ingredients*
Hot Rod: HOLY

Weirdwolf: YAWN
Mindwipe: HOLY

...and thus, Starscream began his search for his other null ray

Optimus Prime: I'm sorry about what happened in DOTM, I tried convincing Michael Bay to cut that part out but he wouldn't budge.

TONIGHT WE DINE IN UNICRON

I volunteer as tribute!

I DON'T WANNA BE A KISS PLAYER

AUTOBOTS, THIS WAY!

You're not yellow enough

Sideswipe: Found the trigger!

Megatron: Now let's see if this so called 'potato power' is worth it.

Spike: Y'know, I thought I'd lose your heads first not your bodies.

Soundwave: Laserbeak, show me tabs for Through the Fires and Flames

Huffer: Hey Spike, I was on Teletran One and it came up with something about p-
Spike: Don't wanna hear it.

Prowl: I'm WHAT in G1?

Huffer: I got in Combiner Wars and you didn't! Ha!
Brawn: You do know your toy is just Optimus Prime in orange right?
Huffer: TAKE THAT BACK

Scrapper: HASBRO!
Blitzwing: TAKARA!

Megatron: What is this? A contact request from 'HotBae955' on Skype?

Thundercracker: Hasbro, we think your new Titans Return Bumblebee needs some heel spurs for his lame backpack! Hahahaha!

Sideswipe: DADDY DON'T BREAK UP WITH MUMMY

Ultra Magnus: CHEAP SLAGGING KNOCK OFFS ARE SO LOOSE

Ultra Magnus: Y'know, you guys just aren't fit to be legends class.

Skullcruncher: This is not easy to digest, waiter! I told you I have a touchy stomach!

Autobot Headmasters: EVERYBODY HAS A CHANCE TO BE AN AUTOBOT
Galvatron: Frag it, you and your cheesy emotions, I'm crushing myself underneath an iceberg.

That's what she said.

Starscream: Who knew you could make a bad deal...
Swindle: Y'know I'm usually better at these things...

Grimlock: Perceptor what is this stuff me Grimlock making?
Perceptor: That's called dust. Fine, dry powder consisting of tiny particles of earth or waste matter lying on the ground or on surfaces or carried in the air.
Grimlock: Me Grimlock no understan

Hound: I told you energon is not safe for human consumption...you're too curious for your own good, Spike.

Tracks: You see, Blaster, this is what I call surround sound...invented it myself. I'm so smart.

Wheeljack: I've removed all your memories of your, uh, girlfriend. You should be safe from Kiss Players now.

Superion: Robot Heroes A3? What is this junk? Canceled.

Worker: Yeah, we have three lost protoforms...

Grimlock: Me Grimlock hate cheap knock offs that don't even stand up! Me want refund!

I told you making me out of gold plastic for G2 was NOT a good idea!

Metroplex: I thought campaign would prepare me for Multiplayer...

Will it break after 5 seconds of battle?

Dragstrip: HOW DO YOU NOT FIT IN ME RUMBLE, YOU TURN INTO A FREAKING CASSETE

Scourge: Oh my slag...my hand is so huge it covers my whole face...
Mega-Octane: It's time to go home, Scourge.

Ratchet: Now, Prime. First things first, were do you keep your trailer?

Perceptor: I told you not to update to Windows 10!

Cheetor: Sigh, I still have these black spots.

Sari: You see this key? The only reason I have it is cause some guy called Longarm Prime gave it to me...

Tentakil shelfwarms.

Megatron: ...and you can buy it now only for around 5 million energon cubes!