Captions by Shadow Fox

Artemis- Your a bad man, your supposed to be a transformer, but when I twisted your leg it came off, cheap parts!!! (Autobot in background) Um..Artemis..he's not one of us, not everything in this base transforms.

Powerglide- No..nope this isn't normal, I don't think my transformation goes like this, can anyone help me remember how I do it again? (Autobot's snickering in the background)

Chromia- So then to please me next you take your finger like this and....

Sparkplug- Come ooonnnn Optimus let me do it. Look at me, I'm fat and human, I'll be forgotten about in less than a year into the series, I just want to go on 'one' mission so I'll have something good to write

Cyclonus- Oh..I like soo get the shivers when he talks down to me like that, Megatron never takes in 'MY' feelings.

Megatron- you know, when you hold me like this Prime, you make me think that things will turn out alright after all. Optimus- Sorry Megatron, this was a one night stand, tommorow we're gonna start the war again and never talk about this again!!!

Prime- Oh baby do I love it when they just lay there, too bad she's a bit frigid, oh well.

Cancer- What?..You mean I've been wasting my time, I tried out for voltron but couldnt get in, and now I can't even pilot one of you guys, what the hell am I supposed to do then? Prime- Well..um..you can give comic relief to ease the te

Spike- (whispering to Prime) My arms are giving out, can I let go of it yet..man..err..is this heavy. Prime- No spike our prisons were destroyed and you have to watch our prisoners like this from now on (thinking to himself) Yes finally found a way to ge

Gort- Ya..well you see, I'm a Homo-bot, we're like the autobots cousins with fasion sense, ya they tried to give us a push in the late 80's but felt it was still too early, so..I appreciate you trying to pick me up..but it isn&a

Braver- Ok..so you say you can't transform, or fight..best thing you can do is the short fat robot can give a mild shock..and why do you want to be an autobot? C3PO- well..we haven't worked since the 70's and child support is s

Scourge- Wow..I don't know what to say..that looks pretty bad and infected. I'm not a doctor though, you need to get that checked out!!

Wheelie- Munch, munch..mmmm. This is some good energon, if I pack on a few more pounds I'll be a small fat autobot, maybe then I'll finally get recognized in this series!!

Starscream- Where..where are we? Rumble- I'm not sure, Megatron's party is the last thing I remember. Starscream- Ya same, man what a hang over.

Megatron- You dolts, Im not retarded, just stupid as there IS a difference!!!

Rumble- I'm tired of us robot's always getting treated like second class citizens, I have to ride on trains by myself, and can't even eat at the same restaurants.

Spike- Wow, would you get a look at the size of that..you may be a robot dog, but you have the boner of a horse!!!

And today there is late breaking news, it seems a top ranking Iraqi official that has supported Sadaam, has been caught by a massive robot, stay with us for more late breaking news at 9.

Spike- Oh ya, that's the spot..this feels so good, now lower, lower, just a bit lower, that's right, now use your index fingure and massage the inside of my ass it hurts too..no no..it's not a bad thing, it's a human..t

Galvatron- We go out there together or not at all!!!

Soundwave- I love you!!!

But daniel, you made a huge boo boo, I have to change your spacesuit, if I were a human the smell would have knocked me out by now!!

Optimus- I can just get lost in your eyes sometimes, this is so wrong..but yet it feels so right..kiss me now, I'm yours!!!

Arcee- Daniel..I'm sorry, but your annoying and well, frankly you do nothing for the show, and I have to do it now because the writters are leaning towards me having a love trist with you..and well it just can't happen honey.

Hot Rod-

Optimus primal- OK..Maybe I should have thought twice about this whole beast mode thing..that's just disgusting...

Rhinox- You do don't you..you think my ass looks fat..sniff

Optimus primal- Uh..no..no your ass is fine..I was talki

Hellbat- heh..Hic' come a little closer brother, let me give you a smooch...

Leozack- Um..I think you've had one tooo many drinks tonight!!!

Shockwave- Heh feels good to set here, like one huge vibrator..It's what's inbetween your legs that counts.

Blaster- Damit bitch, quit squirming, your gonna take it prison style and like it!!!

Ratchet- I don't see how your plan works optimus? You run me over then what...?

Optimus- Hehe..annoying bitch..

Ratchet- what was that optimus?

Optimus- Oh..nothing..nothing just trust me, this will help us defeat the decepticons..trruus

Optimus- hehe, it's alright, just a bit closer and I'll tell you the secret of the Matrix...

Grandmother- That's right, squeeze your nipples just a bit harder, yes, just like that.

Optimus- Wait wait, this isn't supposed to happen, this super mode body part is new, I'm supposed to be standing in the background barking orders and looking heroic.

Brawn- so your telling me this isn't a toilet cliffjumper?

Sunstreak- Really its true, my dick was thiiisss long, and I didn't have to use viagra!!

Wheelie- Dammit kup, I've ignored your sexual abuse of Blurr for long enough.

Ultra Magnus- Heh heh, look mommy, I just got the new constructicon figures through the mail..they look so awesome!!!

Alright, great show everyone, don't forget to return the robot armor as it is only a rental!!

Gavlatron- Ya I know you've been loyal to me all these years, but you see there's someone else new in my life, Cyclonus is now my 'Pillar of strength', I hope you understand that our relationship is over.

(Megatron has just received a big dose of mind blowing news) Megatron, your really the bastard son of unicron and Optimus.

Deszaras (English translation)- Yes I can transform my robo genetailia when I like, Now come back with me, I have candy and a nice BIG 'surprise' waiting for you back at HQ!!!

YAAAA..this halloween I'm gonna get my ass kicked, whoo hoo mom your the best, I love cardboard costumes about cartoons.

Ratchet- My my my..what a well endowed robot you are (hits him over the head with a crow bar) and you won't be needing your penis now that your dead, maybe I'll finally get arcee's notice with this now!!!

Arcee- ya, it's alright Wheelie, come here I'm here for you..ok I'm not feeling the comfort back, lower, lower, just a little lower...

Hot shot- Ok?...so why is it that I'm the only autobot that his minicon attaches to my ass..grr..Red Alert, I hear you snickering in the corner over there!!!

Megatron- Well they were popular on cybertron when I bought them 1 million years ago..I bought a whole box, so you better get used to wearing them..cost me a years supply of energon!!!

Computron- Only you can prevent forest fires!!!

You see, it's funny, I'm a robot that transforms into other things, and I'm wearing a mask..Ya I don't really get it either, but this is what I'm paid to do, just wonder what the writters were smoking when they

Megatron- OOOHHHH YYAAAA....whew it feels good to sqeeze a few out..man robo crap does not smell good..and my starfish is flaring up..I hope i don't have hemoroids that would be embarassing, here comes megatron the scarry decepticon with the huge

Rumble- ya, I think the writters are low on ideas, YA OK who's bright idea was it to make an episode with me As a TREE for crying out loud..sheesh!!!

Ironhide- That's right, no one will suspect I'm the infamous Red Van killer, ya we'll kidnap him Ravage then drive out and no one will suspect anything!!!

Grimlock- Me Grimlock no make that mess.
Slag- Sorry me slag couldn't hold it anymore, hurt on way out though, I must have eaten him whole.